Friday, April 11, 2014
Holy crap. It’s been 2 months since I wrote that last post.
I finally called the lawyer day before yesterday. Someone in OK told me that it looked like Mom’s house was empty and was starting to get rundown. I saw photos of the place and yes, it definitely looks uninhabited. Coincidentally, the day after I call OK to snoop around, Lintball showed up at the house and dropped a trailer off, mowed the lawn, pulled up falling down fences and left the lights on in the house before leaving. My fervent wish is that this piece of shit isn’t a big enough dumbass to try and lie and say that he still lives there. I don’t feel like exerting the energy that I would be compelled to in that case. Our lawyer is contacting his to find out the status of probate and said that I should know something within a week. If his lawyer doesn’t respond within a week. We shall see. What we’d like to happen is my sister or I or both of us together buy out Lintball and fix the house up. I’d rather fix it up and give it to someone than let it sit there and fall down. It embarrasses me that the neighbors Mom had for over 30 years are having to look at an eyesore.
The elephant in the room that hit us in July of 2012? Still here. In a nutshell, Sweety remembered some really fucked up shit that happened to him as a kid. He’s still remembering bits and pieces. The therapist said that he finally remembered it because he was at such a good place in life. Nice family life. New baby. Things are going great! Brain said, “Hey, I think you have the support you need to know about this now!”. Isn’t that finer than hair on a frog’s ass?
We spent over a year never sleeping in the same room because he was so hot when he sleeps that the air conditioner in there was cranked down to frozen. Apparently that’s a symptom of shock. Your body doesn’t rest when you sleep. We’ve decided it’s okay to just sleep where ever we feel like now. The sleep-talking that he’s had the past couple of years that has been really crazy? A sort of split-personality thing. Since he spends all day long trying to not think about what his mind is remembering, it comes out when he’s tired. He’s always been a sleep-talker but this has been some new shit. Not just funny stuff. Stuff that freaks me the fuck out. Sometimes he will spend hours talking and then I’ll get up and eat a cake at 4 a.m. to soothe myself. Sometimes it’s like living in a tornado here. And sometimes it’s so normal here that it surprises the shit out of me when it’s suddenly not normal.
Sweety has asked me why on earth I stay with him. I told him that our marriage was really awesome all of the time for 11 years so I know we can get back to it. It’s already better here than it was even a year ago. To keep his mind from dwelling on shit, he has taken to doing mundane things. Like pulling up all of the grass in the backyard by fucking hand to prepare it for sod. I told him that I was sure there was some sort of tool that would be helpful but he said he liked doing it by hand because his mind was blank while he pulled. I am pissed the fuck off that someone did shit so awful to him that it’s scrambling his brain at 45 years old.
Today is the 13th anniversary of when Sweety and I went on our first date. It’s been one hell of a ride but I’m glad to be on it.