How does one person, single handedly bring a New Year’s Eve party to a screeching halt?
By shutting and LOCKING a door that has the host’s 2 and a half year old son’s fingers in it. Yep. That’ll stop a party dead in its tracks. I heard some kid screaming on the other side but thought it was because I wouldn’t let him in. It didn’t occur to me that 2 of his tiny fingers were stuck by the hinge. I only opened it up when his mom started banging on the door screaming for whoever was in there to “open it the f up!” I wanted to die. I kid you not. I prayed for a sudden seizure and then death. Luckily, the fingers didn’t appear to be broken so no trip to the emergency room was needed.
And how does one bring conversation to a cease by talking about the tackiest thing ever? You tell the story of how you’ve spent 3 years trying to wish a brain tumor on your husband’s ex and instead her husband gets one. Then you find out that the host’s sister died from a brain tumor 1 year ago tomorrow.
I am such a dork. I am socially retarded.
Other than those 2 horribly awkward moments everything went ok. For once I wasn’t the drunk girl at the party. Smashing a toddler’s fingers just kinda sucks the party mood right out of you. My husband was afraid I’d drink too much and act crazy. He didn’t have a clue that instead I would inflict injury upon children.
And the host assured me that everything was ok and we were welcome back at any time. She was really nice. Too bad I couldn’t have left a better first impression.
This was the first party that the husband and I had been to in 3 years of marriage. He’s really looking forward to taking me out more often.
What did you do to ring in the new year?
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