Sweety’s bowling league met yesterday and after the games he went out with his friends. The boys and I went to BB’s baseball game and hung around the house.
I was in bed with a freshly washed, sweet smelling Tiny Dog when Sweety woke us at 1:30 a.m. He was spooned around me and it seemed that he was petting Tiny. “How sweet. Since he thinks I’m asleep, he is showing Tiny that he truly loves her and doesn’t mind that she’s in the bed!”, I thought. Then he started touching my hand that was cupped around Tiny. I figured he was petting me too and decided to continue to pretend that I was asleep to see what else he would do.
He took my hand in his and I thought that he was going to have both of us pet Tiny at the same time. People, what he did next shocked the shit out of me.
He grabbed my pointy finger and swiped it across Tiny Dog’s asshole.
When I yelled, “What! The fuck! Are you doing?” he quickly rolled away and started whimpering something along the lines of, “Please, don’t kill me in my sleep. I don’t know why I did it!”
I guess he’s not kidding when he says that he really hates it when she’s in the bed with us.
24 Comments, Comment or Ping
Your husband is just PLAIN WRONG.
Funny, but WRONG.
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October 19th, 2008 4:47 pm
You two are seriously made-for-each-other perfect.
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October 19th, 2008 5:14 pm
Renn – This proves that he is warped beyond belief.
Bekah – I guess this makes up for all of the times I’ve chased him around the house while trying to touch his wiener with Tiny’s nose.
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October 19th, 2008 6:48 pm
OMG… I have tears streaming down my face!!
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October 19th, 2008 7:27 pm
Dawn – Next time I see you, I’ll let you touch Tiny’s butt and see what you think. (Gee, I hope this is my Dawn.)
Guess what else he did? Got up in the middle of the night to take some baking soda so he wouldn’t puke and passed out in the kitchen. Whacked into the wall and has a goose egg on his temple now.
It’s our turn in next time! :D
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October 19th, 2008 7:50 pm
Absolutely fucking hilarious.
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October 19th, 2008 8:24 pm
Mike – But surely you must also agree that he is unbalanced. Or do I deserve dog ass on my finger?
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October 19th, 2008 9:21 pm
Yes it’s your Dawn.Youv’e already let me see her coochie. I guess butt rubbing is the next step.
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October 19th, 2008 9:29 pm
Dawn – Oh, goody! I’ll even be sure to squeeze her anal glands so she’s springtime fresh for you!
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October 19th, 2008 9:38 pm
Whoa, did I just say that? Sometimes I want to stop the disgusting things that seep from my brain but they just won’t.
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October 19th, 2008 9:38 pm
and you thought you knew him….. LOL
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October 20th, 2008 10:44 am
Sweetie is THE MAN.
You gotta admit, that was pure genius.
It is okay to be angry because he thought of it first ;)
TV
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October 20th, 2008 11:25 am
Effin’ hilarious! I shouldn’t read these at work! The people at work must think I’m crazy.
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October 20th, 2008 11:46 am
WTF!!!! Is right. Chickie….now let’s talk THERAPY!! :)
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October 20th, 2008 11:48 am
What bekah said!! BWAAHHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAAAA!!!!
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October 20th, 2008 9:52 pm
But the real question is: Did Tiny Dog like it????
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October 21st, 2008 4:04 am
The only disastorous part of this entire story is he didn’t think to set up the camera and catch this on video! I kept thinking about it at work y’day and would catch myself w/this crazy grin on my face.
Laughing again at Speck wondering if Tiny Dog liked it : )~~
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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October 21st, 2008 6:54 am
Chickie, Sweety being passed out on the kitchen floor would have been a perfect time to pose Tiny Dog spread eagle on his face! Again, a camera catches the Kodak moment. Man w/doggie porn!
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October 21st, 2008 6:59 am
Imagine what he does to you when you’re sleeping.
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October 22nd, 2008 9:40 am
Patti – This really makes me wonder. I didn’t know he had this sort of thing in him.
Redroach – I wouldn’t risk Tiny’s life in such a manner. If he woke up and I was doing something like that…well, we’d probably have TWO freeze dried dogs.
Regal – You mean you aren’t? ;)
Marie – I asked Tiny if she needed therapy and she said she doesn’t remember it so she’s okay.
Here Today Gone Tomorrow – You know, I really thought someone would comment about what a sick weirdo Sweety was so I could show him the comment to prove how out of line he was with his actions. Hmmm. Maybe I am as weird as he says.
Speck – I don’t think she minded. As long as I’m not squeezing her butt violently to express her anal glands, she doesn’t care what’s being done to her.
I think Sweety was trying to make the swiping hard and uncomfortable so she’d want to leave the bed but that was thwarted when he realized I was awake.
Kelly – He knew this was a covert operation. I had my eyes cracked and could see that there was a look of concentration on his face. I mistook that look for intense love of wife and dog instead of what it really was.
You know what? He’s lucky he got up off the damn kitchen floor. I had my earplugs in and didn’t hear him hit the ground. The next morning he was sporting a black eye and I was asking what the hell he did.
Moooooog35 – I’d rather not. Now that I know that he has the evil in him.
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October 22nd, 2008 1:47 pm
You two are a barrell of laughs! You really do belong together…LOL!
Poor Tiny…Jow confusing for the poor girl…..!
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October 23rd, 2008 12:50 am
Lady of the Hills – This incident made me realize that Tiny doesn’t care what happens to her in the bed as long as she gets to stay in it.
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October 23rd, 2008 8:58 pm
I can’t stop LMAO at this post!!! I read it again and am still laughing…
Watch out when Sweety is sleeping…
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October 29th, 2008 8:57 pm
He was probably getting back at me for this.
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October 29th, 2008 9:25 pm
Reply to “WTF?”