Do you have crazy thoughts right before you go to sleep? I do. Sometimes I invent things. My last invention was a pillow that had a fake titty on it that you could fill with apple juice and suck on it while you went to sleep. Sometimes I just think crazy shit. I’ve learned if I try to ignore creepy thoughts that they only get worse. So I embrace them and just think them on out.
Last night, Sweety drifted off to sleep while listening to me wonder aloud about what Chi Chi 2.0 would look like if I sawed her in half. Sawdust? Steak? Hacksaw or carpenter’s hand saw? (I’m leaning towards the hand saw.)
I’ve aborted the idea though. I couldn’t figure out how I could do it and then glue her back together so she looked right. I thought I could maybe give her a little belt to wear to cover the operation site but that just feels kind of wrong.
And I need to keep her around and in nice shape because she is such a festive girl to look at!
I highly recommend freeze dried & decorated Chihuahua as a way to ring in the holidays.
15 Comments, Comment or Ping
I think the same kind of thoughts. It is what keeps on sane.
Of course I do not think there is enough bleach in the world to clean my thoughts up
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December 3rd, 2008 1:33 pm
I’ve given up on trying to sanitize my thinking. Sometimes I still horrify myself with the repugnant or politically incorrect thoughts but I’m getting better at letting them just slide around in my brain.
It’s a good thing that I don’t say half the things that I think.
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December 3rd, 2008 1:41 pm
I think weird thoughts too and it’s oddly comforting to know that you have equally weird ones.
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December 3rd, 2008 3:08 pm
Sometimes I scare myself with what my mind comes up with. I think you’re partly to blame for this, though. Influence is everything.
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December 3rd, 2008 9:54 pm
I wish I had a mind like yours. My mind is devoid of all interesting thoughts when I’m going to sleep. I don’t ever remember my dreams when I wake up. At the least I’d like to do something cool like fly a spaceship when I’m getting fuzzy.
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December 3rd, 2008 10:05 pm
I have those crazy thoughts too… Maybe we have all been abducted by aliens and they have run test on our bodies and brains.
I don’t beg often, but PLEASE do not cut Chi2.0 in half!!!!
That is not nice to even think such things about a sweet freeze dried friend. PLEASE…
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December 3rd, 2008 11:01 pm
Awwwwww…ChiChi 2.0 looks so peacefully festive – and you think of a hacksaw??? Don’t make me jump thru the internet!!!
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December 3rd, 2008 11:07 pm
A bandsaw would be the best way to go, if you can get access to one! *wink*
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December 4th, 2008 1:28 am
Thank you for my next patent, the boobie pillow.
I’ll send you one with a free can of apple juice, but feel free to put whatever liquid you want in it.
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December 4th, 2008 12:05 pm
Hey, I haven’t been by in a while but it’s good to know you haven’t changed. Actually I’ve been lurking, rarely commenting, but I couldn’t pass this up. I can relate to the “weird shit in my head” stuff and I love the fact that to you the “belt around the operation site” was the part that felt wrong.
xoxo
Michael
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December 4th, 2008 1:12 pm
We ALL have the weird shit in our heads. It’s just that some of us are better at keeping quiet about it than others (I’m not talking about you, but those people you meet in a grocery store line.)
Please only think about cutting Chi Chi 2.0 in half.
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December 4th, 2008 5:40 pm
Patti – Great minds think alike!
Bekah – Hearing you say this makes me proud.
Midwestern City Boy – I would really love to be able to get in bed and just go to sleep. Sometimes, I have to think “nothing, nothing, nothing” until I pass out.
Finding Pam & TheMom – No worries. Chi Chi 2.0 is safe. I’m too lazy to actually go out and get a saw anyway.
Rebturtle – No bandsaw. I feel like IF I were to cut her in half that I should do the work and not use an electric machine.
Mike – Sweet! I’ll mix the apple juice with some Grand Marnier!
Michael – Yeah, making her wear a belt to cover it up just doesn’t seem right. I think that would offend her.
Glad to see you!
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow – It makes me feel better to know I’m not alone with my weird thoughts. Wait a minute, knowing that everyone else thinks that way is kind of creepy.
Chi Chi 2.0 is safe. I also imagine whacking Stinky Dog in the head with a hatchet when she won’t quit licking her toes but it’s just a fantasy.
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December 4th, 2008 8:06 pm
I’m betting that Chi Chi 2.0′s insides would look like Country Ham. After it’s been fried.
If you ever *did* opt to do it, would you opt for a glittery belt or a hippie/rasta braid?
[In my defense, I am highly medicated right now...]
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December 4th, 2008 10:01 pm
LMAO! Lord help all of you sickies hahahahaha
Of course I laughed, so I guess I am in the same catagory.
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December 4th, 2008 11:07 pm
Renn – I was thinking just a plain brown sort of ribbon belt. So it kind of blended in. Or maybe I’d go the opposite way and go pink and glittery…
FindingPam – Oh, yeah. You’re in the same boat since you’re here. That’s okay – you’re good company!
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December 5th, 2008 11:42 pm
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