I want to poke someone.
I want to pinch someone.
I want to make them cry.
I do.
- The Monogram Queen
Two people in Cubeville make me want to sharpen pencils and do horrible things.
There is this chick with a hyena like laugh. Help me. Not only does she have the laugh, she’s also a real deep fried cunt. (You just picture one of those. It is crispy and mean. It hurts when you put something in it.) Just a straight up bitch whether you need something at work or if you run into her in public. I happened to see her when Sweety and I were at a restaurant a couple of weeks ago and when walking by I said something like “hi” or “how are you?” and she totally snubbed me. Not that I give a damn but that was rude. Par for the course, I suppose.
And there is Speakerphone Guy. All. Day. Long. he is on calls (Very important calls, I’m sure! Wait, if they’re important shouldn’t you maybe keep them private?) using the speakerphone. You can hear the entire conversations all damn day long. I’m thinking someone needs to send an anonymous letter in complaining about it. *ahem*
It’s not enough that I’m wearing a headset and getting ear raped for 10 hours a day by angry customers. I’ve also got this shit on either side of me.

17 Comments, Comment or Ping
I think it’s a good thing that you don’t own a gun.
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I prefer sharpened pencils. More personal.
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
And you can use the eraser to burn through your wrists when you’ve had enough. The perfect weapon.
reply
bekah said:
January 9th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I’m in love with your threaded comments. I need them.
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
They are only useful if you reply to your comments. Ahem.
reply
bekah said:
January 9th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
I know. I think I could start doing that. If I had these.
reply
January 9th, 2009 2:09 pm
Hey I’m FAMOUS!!! Thank You Chickie!
I think we work with the same people somehow, seriously.
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I’d like to get your poem put on a shirt. It touches me.
Buttheads abound, huh?
reply
January 9th, 2009 2:35 pm
Cubeville is just one of the outer rings of hell, judging from how people generally behave there.
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I would personally put it in one of the top three rings. People really check their manners at the door.
reply
January 9th, 2009 5:38 pm
I don’t miss the cube farm, truly I don’t.
From the snoring guy to the teacher’s pet (a quote from the President: “The only one here who has any job security”) to the one who had a story from either the Air Force or the hog farm to go with any situation.
Self employment has its drawbacks, but today I’m grateful.
Thanks!
(oh, and I’ll be using ‘deep fried cunt’ in a sentence this week, tyvm)
reply
Chickie said:
January 9th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
I just know I’m going to win the lottery. Or else get up Sunday morning and be very disappointed.
So glad to expand your vocabulary!
reply
January 9th, 2009 9:32 pm
I have Roaming Loud Nextel User, Bartender Voice, Giggle Fest, Angry Guy…
I am finally enjoying the fact that my office has a door.
reply
Chickie said:
January 10th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Roaming Loud Nextel User? Dude, you have it so much worse than me. I hate those fucking phones!
reply
January 10th, 2009 9:29 am
Call speaker phone guy and tell him what a total cunt fringed cunt girls is, then tell him to get the hell off the phone and get to work.
reply
Chickie said:
January 10th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I would if I had his phone number. That is an idea though…
reply
Midwestern City Boy said:
January 11th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
Can’t you go in early and look on the phone, or if he’s truly important one of his business cards laying on his desk? Or start talking really loud to your next ear raper and ruin his conversation.
reply
January 10th, 2009 5:58 pm
Reply to “Grrr…”