Ah, everybody’s asleep.
The boys were here tonight instead of at their mother’s because high school orientation was tonight for BB and the coaew couldn’t go. So they stayed here tonight and Sweety took him. They met me at Red Lobster for dinner after I got off of work and the boys came home with me while Sweety went back to work.
Do you know who Jeff Dunham is? He’s one of BB’s favorite comedians and we stayed up late watching him on t.v. His show isn’t exactly child friendly but whenever he got too out there, I shrieked at the top of my lungs sang ‘lalalalalala!’ while BB fast forwarded through that part and LB wondered what was going on. Honestly? I don’t care if the kid hears a joke about certain things, I just don’t want to be in the room hearing it too.
The show was over at 11 and I tucked them on in and am enjoying the sounds of nothingness. LB likes me to “tuck him in like a carrot” by tucking the blanket really tightly around him. I do some sort of weird chant, “tucking you in like a carrot! carrot! like a carrot!” while doing it. Very soothing, to be sure.
Oh! Let me tell you about another weird conversation Sweety had with me while he was asleep last night.
Rabbits are sneaky. I don’t like rabbits. I can tell when they are going to do something evil.
Really? How?Their ears lay back flat against their heads and they get a mean look in their eye.
Wow! What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen a rabbit do?
Fucked a dog.
What? Fucked a dog? Are you serious?
Yes! I saw it on the internet on a porn site. At first, you see this big dog sniffing the rabbit and in the next frame – THE RABBIT HAS MOUNTED THE DOG!!!
Oh, wow. Are you serious?
Yeah! The rabbit was mean. He had a cigar in one hand a beer in the other and he was tearing that dog up!
I don’t know what worries me more. The idea that Sweety really saw something like this online (what the hell was he looking for to stumble on this? Maybe there is a reason that Stinky Dog covers her ass when he’s around?) or the idea that he just pulled the whole thing out of his brain.
After this bit of conversation, he started talking about how he just didn’t understand knitting. I decided to mess with him and every time he started to say something, I’d interrupt him by screaming, “What’s your problem? Why don’t you like knitted blankets?” or “I really don’t understand why you don’t like yarn!” After 5 or 6 interruptions he got really quiet and said, “You know what your problem is? You just need to slow down.” and he sounded really sad.
I felt bad then and stuck my earplugs in so I couldn’t hear him babbling while I went to sleep.
26 Comments, Comment or Ping
I had a girlfriend last year that just loved Jeff Dunham. She made me sit through one of his DVDs so that I’d understand why she loved his humor. I just didn’t find the appeal. *sigh* And I don’t think he should hold an entire species in disdain for the actions of one rogue rabbit! :-)
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I have an unhealthy fondness for things that talk that shouldn’t. How can you not love a crazy ass puppet that’s wobbling all over the place?
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January 23rd, 2009 12:59 am
Oops. I read your post again and this time I realized that it’s your hubby that has the thing against rabbits—at least when he’s asleep. Does he feel that way when he’s awake also?
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
He doesn’t have a problem with them when awake. I really wonder why he went there in his sleep. Weirdo.
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January 23rd, 2009 1:02 am
Awww – bunnies!
We need to start a Sweetie Fan Club.
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Okay. I am the first member.
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January 23rd, 2009 6:23 am
That rabbit is dynamite!!!!
Bwahahahahaha. Couldn’t resist, I do love Monty Python.
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I didn’t know what the hell your comment was about and had to google it. I’m going to add it to my Netflix queue now.
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January 23rd, 2009 11:02 am
Do you realize how sick the rabbit thing is? It started off like something I think of and took a wrong turn at the end.
I think you need pour bleach in Sweetie’s ear tonight. something is not right in there.
TV
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Dude, I totally get how sick the rabbit thing is. The fact that he was unconscious is even more disturbing.
No bleach. What if I spilled it and ruined the sheets?
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January 23rd, 2009 1:10 pm
I am with ya on the in-the-room-with-kiddos/inappropriate stuff. I love the tucking you in like a carrot! Love it!
Sweety totally creeps me out talking in his sleep so… coherently!
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
The sleep talking can get annoying when he won’t shut up. Sometimes he’ll get on a roll and just keep yapping. I’ve had to fully wake him up before to get him to stop.
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January 23rd, 2009 2:28 pm
We had a lot of fun watching Jeff Dunham during Christmas week. My sister bought dad a Jeff D dvd to make him laugh. It worked!
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I like his stuff because it’s something different. And the talking dolls. I want one.
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January 24th, 2009 7:29 am
I would like to join the Sweety Fan Club. His brain is a strange and wondrous thing.
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
You may join also. I will appoint you and Cissy to important positions in the club.
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January 24th, 2009 9:10 am
Rabbit porn, kinky!! If he ever comes into the bedroom with a beer and a cigar you better run!!!
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Ha! No kidding.
No, wait. Stinky Dog would probably be the one needing to hide.
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January 24th, 2009 11:17 am
I’m on board for the Sweety Fan Club too! What are the membership fees?
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Chickie said:
January 24th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Not to be cliche, but – show us your tits.
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January 24th, 2009 11:57 am
My family tucks into a blanket burrito. Same as a carrot, but n the west coast, I suppose.
My house would be a nightmare for sleeping Sweety with all the knitting going on (think I’ll go knit something RIGHTNOW!!) and the rabbit running rampant…
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Chickie said:
January 25th, 2009 at 12:55 am
It’s a carrot here if I don’t tuck the blanket way under your feet. If I do, then you’re a burrito. The deep tuck doesn’t happen often though. I like to do that one to myself.
For real, I thought of you when we were having that conversation!
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ginamonster said:
January 25th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
CUTE!!! I’m so flattered! Got most of the way through a hat last night but I fear i will run out of that yarn before it’s done so it might have to turn into a scarf or something.
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Chickie said:
January 25th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Heh, what I thought was, “wow, ginamonster would shit if she could hear this conversation. bunny rapists and screaming about yarn!”
I thought you might be horrified at the bunny bit.
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January 25th, 2009 12:37 am
After “Two Girls, one Cup”, I don’t doubt that you can find anything on the internet if you look long enough. I would not have minded the dog mounting the rabbit; but the rabbit mounting the dog and “tearing him up”. Something is wrong with that. Of course, we have coyotes around her and rabbits are nothing but dinner.
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Chickie said:
January 26th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Agh! Two Girls, One Cup! Now you made me think about it.
Yeah, I thought he was fixing to say the dog did the rabbit and when he spouted off with that it did surprise me.
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January 25th, 2009 10:19 pm
Reply to “Not A Creature Was Stirring”