Protected: Petty. So very petty. I apologize.

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Go, Patriots! http://t.co/SqG7NHVs 3 days ago
Finally perfected the signature for my work email address. #whew #weightoffmyshoulders NO happy quotes or wacky font here. 5 days ago
You can't out-sneak me. I'm the master. 6 days ago
And now I'm listening to the dog lick his toes down to the bone. #slurpmotherfuckingslurp 6 days ago
An unfolded towel almost sent me on a bloody rampage. My family doesn't know how lucky they were tonight. 6 days ago
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