Let’s have a debt amnesty meeting!
Is that like library book amnesty where you take your overdue book back but don’t get a fine since they’re happy to get the book back?
Yes! You bring me all of your debt and I will not ask where it came from. I need to know how much you owe so we can fix this.
Okay!
I was at the computer, looking up credit card statements and scribbling numbers down on a piece of paper. We were going to have the meeting after supper. I was going to type up all of my numbers nice and neat so they wouldn’t look so threatening. I needed to go cook so I slid the paper into the laptop and closed it.
About 10 minutes later I heard a strangled cry from the living room. Oh, shit. He looked at the list before it was done! He came into the kitchen and whacked his head on the table a few times.
Hey! You weren’t supposed to look at the list yet! I’m not done with it!
WTF? You have MORE to put on here?!
No, no, no! I was going to type it up and make it pretty! So it wouldn’t be so shocking.
You can’t polish a turd.
After the meeting, (he did let me type things up along with how much money I bring in) I told him that I imagined that I felt like a Catholic after being in the confessional booth.
He said it was amnesty but his curiosity is getting the better of him.
Can’t say that I blame him. I’m nosy and would want to know where the money went but I can’t give him one good giant answer. It got pissed away. I have volunteered to order my credit card statements so he can peruse them. He just has to do it when I’m not around and then not say a word to me about anything he reads. He has not taken me up on the offer. I hope he doesn’t. It would be embarrassing.
WHAT did you buy? You don’t have anything BIG around here.
You said it was amnesty! You weren’t going to ask!
*crickets chirping*
I don’t know. Little stupid things.
Do you know how many little things you’d have to buy to amount to this?
Yes. If there’s one thing I’m good at – it’s spending money…I have my books to show!
But those books are a tiny dent in the mountain. So every time I asked you how you paid for something and you told me not to worry about it?
Yes. Think of every single time you asked that and there is your answer.
Oh my god. *insert more head banging here*
The last conversation took place as he was getting ready to shower. No matter how serious the conversation, I have a hard time holding in giggles while his back is turned to me and I can see his scrotum waggling around. It’s a mood lifter. I wanted to touch it but sensed that the time was not right.
Every now and then he’ll look at me and name something off that the money could have bought. So far, my favorite has been, “Dancing stripper clowns! You could have had them come to the house at least 3 days in a row and STILL had change left!”
We had a meeting like this awhile back but I strayed from our original plan. I’m serious now. I haven’t touched a credit card in a few weeks. I’ve got to get this shit paid off so I can entertain the idea of quitting my job for awhile and having a Chickie Junior.
22 Comments, Comment or Ping
Oh thank you for writing this! Money is so taboo, and talking about debt is even worse. Between my husband and I, we have each had these same thoughts about one another’s habits, but until recently never really talked about it. At least you guys are on the right track and communicating about it. Good luck! – G
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
We would talk about it once in a blue moon but then abandon the plans we’d made. This time, we’re having regular (weekly) sessions about what’s going on.
Thanks for commenting!
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October 24th, 2009 11:18 am
I’m glad my wife is a big spender, though some of her makeup is ridiculously over priced. Dancing stripper clowns sound fun though.
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I’m sure you meant that she’s not a big spender? ;) My makeup is ridiculous too but since I don’t wear it too often it lasts forever. That’s my justification for spending on it.
The allure of dancing stripper clowns must be a man thing. I find the idea scary. And wouldn’t their greasepaint possibly smear off onto their clothes?
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October 24th, 2009 12:06 pm
Money IS really weird to talk about. Although, I am always a little too nosy about it and maybe a little too forward with advice because Michael and I are both in the Financial Planning industry (and so are most of my friends and my dad).
It was REALLY hard, but about a year ago, Michael and I went straight to cash. We still have a credit card, but we really just use it to get points and we always pay off the balance. We still have a bunch of debt (some of it’s definitely my shopping, but a lot of it is because of a bad real estate deal he did before we lived together, which depleted our remodel funds, which means we now have outstanding debt from the remodel).
For us, what works, is we have a joint account. That is where all of our bills come out of. Mortgage, groceries, etc. We also both get an “allowance” per paycheck (we get paid on the 1st and the 15th). This allowance goes into a personal account and we can spend it on whatever we want. No questions asked. It’s ours to do with as we please. I tend to spend mine on little stuff (make-up, shoes, music, starbucks) and he saves his and then goes to the casino.
We take cash out every paycheck for Target, Costco, Groceries, going out and lunches. We are allowed a certain amount for lunches, but both also take stuff to work. Once our going out budget is spent, we don’t go out anymore until the next paycheck. Target and Costco tend to accumulate, but always seems to be the right amount when we finally go to those places.
Since Michael works on commission, sometimes he has big paychecks and sometimes not so much. When there is a big one, we sweep it over to a savings account at a different bank. We have a set amount that needs to be in there for the tough times (like early this year when we barely made it through the bad market) and the rest goes to pay off our debt. We are always paying a certain amount on our debt and when one thing gets paid off, that payment goes to the next highest amount we owe. So, our budget still will have the same amount going out for debt until there is no debt.
We have set-backs. Like, we never save for vacations (stupidly, but it just never works for us), so when we go somewhere, we then spend a ton of money and have to pay it off.
It’s not perfect, but it works for us. Sorry for such a long comment, but this subject always makes me get yacky.
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I love your long comment! I’m always curious as to how people manage their money. Probably because I’ve fucked up my own situation so nicely.
The plan is for us to start using a joint account but we haven’t implemented it yet. Basically, the part of my paycheck that I do get right now covers the minimum payments each month and my car note.
As it is, for me to just quit using the damned credit cards is a big step. I’ve got a bit of a problem with self-control.
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October 24th, 2009 12:16 pm
Some acquaintances froze their credit cards in a big block of ice and kept it in the freezer. They had to make a real conscious effort to use those cards.
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I did the freezing thing once. I just put them in a sink full of hot water while I was getting ready to use them. Now, I still have the cards in my purse but haven’t used them in a bit.
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October 24th, 2009 2:59 pm
I used to handle all of the bill paying at the house, until my husband realized that a great part of my illness was due to STRESS. He took over the day to day stuff, and I stepped out completely.
We paid off all of the cc debt (all mine, from college), slow but sure. We only use debit cards now.
I have no idea how much we have in our account (I have all of the passwords, etc. I just don’t look); It is better for me that way. I read Everyday Cheapskate (email) from Mary Hunt, and have listened to the entire “Financial Peace” seminar from Dave Ramsey. I recommend both.
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Luckily for me, Sweety has always handled the daily bills. I feel bad that he’s now helping with mine but he budgets and I do not. It’s like I’m giving him extra work.
I’ll look up those things that you mentioned. Dave Ramsey? I think Sweety listens to him because he had me go to his website to look some stuff up a couple of weeks ago.
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renn said:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
One of my friends has the ‘old’ cassettes from Dave Ramsey’s class. I bet the books are available at your library. (I also read one of his books; it’s pretty easy to read and understand.)
Same goes for Mary Hunt books.
The main difference between Dave Ramsey and Mary Hunt is that DR is a Debit Card only kind of guy. Mary Hunt approves of Credit Cards (in moderation, on line orders for protection). I like both, and have learned a lot from them.
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Chickie said:
October 27th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Cool beans. Thanks for pointing me in their directions!
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October 24th, 2009 3:44 pm
Credit Cards can sure be one’s downfall….I try not to use them unless I can pay off ALL of it each month no effing interest. I think it bothers me SOOO DAMN MUCH that the CC companies make us pay such a HIGH Interest rate that I refuse to give them one more dime over the actual cost of the products! The yearly fee is all they get from me…most of the time. I know this is often impossible for many many people. But, that is what they count on….
Good Luck with all this my dear…..Do you actually know what you spent the money on?? (lol)
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
The really ironic part is the card that I owe the most money on? I work for that company. It’s in their best interest to keep me employed!
Oh lordy, yes, I know where it all went. In little piddly things and small outings.
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October 24th, 2009 4:01 pm
It was proven on mythbusters that one could, in fact, polish a turd. Just so you know.
peace…
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Chickie said:
October 24th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Seriously? I’ve got to find that one!
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October 24th, 2009 6:13 pm
I budget out of necessity since I’m a cash-only person. (Probably one of the few left in the world.) I use my debit card at the gas station since they don’t take cash; but, never use a credit card except for online purchases or when we’re on the road. We don’t have any secrets since we have joint accounts and everything is in Quicken anyway. The only problem is that it’s sometimes hard to surprise each other.
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Chickie said:
October 25th, 2009 at 1:14 am
It seems that I could learn from you.
It kills me that I was out of debt a few years ago and turned right around and dug a new hole.
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October 25th, 2009 12:40 am
Scrotums waggling around are always hilarious.
Just sayin’….
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Chickie said:
October 25th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
I know! It’s like you’re seeing something that you’re not supposed to see. They look so defenseless.
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October 25th, 2009 9:03 pm
This is when I feel absolutely awesome having no credit cards. I mean, I had them, and then I maxed them out and the bottom fell out of the market and blah blah blah. *insert nervous tee hee hee*
I hated the pang in my stomach I got when I bought something with them and S.O. didn’t know about it. ugh.
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Chickie said:
October 28th, 2009 at 1:35 am
See, I thought when he asked how did I pay for something & I told him to not worry about it that it was our code speak for “credit card”. Someone forgot to give him the decoder ring.
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October 27th, 2009 11:15 pm
Reply to “Coming Clean”