Got a call from my doctor. Seems that my bloodwork reveals that I am an unhealthy slug. Surprise, surprise. He wants to see me in the flesh on Friday to discuss these findings.
Sweety bowls Friday night. He just announced, “In 72 hours? I’m going to be drunk!” I chime in with, “Me too!”
No, you’re going to be on a diet. You won’t get to drink.
I’ll drink Jack Daniel’s and Diet Coke!
Do you know what that is? CALORIES! How about you have a Jack Daniel’s enema? I’ll take a swig and then blow it into your ass.
He then pantomimed the position I would assume and the angle at which he would hold his head.
The scary part? I think he was serious.
In other news, he just ate a family sized sack of Cheetos.
I hate his metabolism. Fuck you, Sweety’s metabolism. Of course, I harbor NOOOOOO ill will towards him for sitting here and eating that whole fucking sack.
10 Comments, Comment or Ping
Wonga! You weren’t kidding!!!!
Wow… huh, geez. I’m starting to think that he’s the one who fantasizes about dancing stripper clowns. Bwahahahahahahaha
reply
Chickie said:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Sweety is a fucking loon. It’s official!
reply
October 27th, 2009 11:20 pm
Yup, I think he is a loon!! Hope your doctor’s appt goes well.
reply
Chickie said:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:31 am
It’s always interesting to hear what sort of nugget will come out of Sweety’s mouth! Oh, I’m pretty sure I know how the appt will go – I have to get serious about getting myself right.
reply
October 28th, 2009 9:02 am
I hate men and their metabolism. Yet another reason why it’s easier to be a dude. Fuckers.
reply
Chickie said:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Sometimes I watch him wolf down food and try to choke him with my gaze.
If he were to choke – I’d shove the Dyson tube in his mouth to suck it out.
reply
October 28th, 2009 1:59 pm
Men – eff them and their super metabolisms!
reply
Chickie said:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Sweety tells me he keeps his trim figure because he actually does manual labor during the day and I sit.
I’m still blaming the magical man metabolism.
reply
October 28th, 2009 4:22 pm
Doesn’t it just piss you off that men can eat twice as much as women and not gain weight? AND, if they have a great Metabolism too boot…they can eat three or four times as much. NOT FAIR! I have always wished that I had a great metabolism that would allow me to eat anything I wanted….No Such Luck!
I’m trying to picture that postion Sweety will have to be in to blow it up your ass…LOL!
reply
Chickie said:
October 31st, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I fondly remember when I was younger and could eat like a horse and it didn’t matter. My Mom always told me that it wouldn’t be like that forever but I didn’t believe her.
Trust me when I say it looked like an uncomfortable position.
reply
October 29th, 2009 4:01 am
Reply to “His Mind Is Rotten”