“My little sister is graduating from pre-k. She only had to go to school half a year! Only half a year and then you graduate from pre-k.
Mmm-hmm. That’s nice.
They’re having a party for her.
Really? That’s nice.
You wouldn’t believe it. It’s going to be huge.
Mmm-hmm. That will be nice.
No, really. They’re going alllll out. For her graduation.
Hey! When you learn to write your name and quit eating your boogers we’ll have a giant party for you, okay?
Huh?
Well, I mean, isn’t that great progress for a four year old? It certainly deserves a giant party.”
****
“Aunt Anna? You know, good people have good lives and bad people have bad lives.
No, sweety. That’s not how it works.
Yes, it is. We’re not talking about your life, Aunt Anna.
Look kid, I hate to break it to you but that isn’t how it works. Sometimes good people have bad things happen to them.
No! Good people get good things and bad people get bad things. That’s the way it is!
Well, that would be nice. But someday, you’ll notice someone bad have good things happen to them and someone good will have bad things happen to them. But if you think good people get good then you just keep being good, okay?
Okay. You know why? Why I’ll be good? I couldn’t live with the guilt on my conscience. It would make me feel bad to sleep at night.”
***
“If I get my teeth sealed will I still be able to chew gum?
Yeah. No, wait! You won’t be able to chew gum anyway when you get braces.
Gee, thanks for bringing that up. The dentist just said maybe I won’t need braces.
Um, kid…did you not hear him tell me that your teeth were crowded and ask if I needed a referral to an orthodontist and I told him that you’d just been to one last week and braces are coming in a few months?
Well, I hope I won’t have them.
Just call me the Dream Killer.”
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
She is a smart kid, I happen to think braces – while adorable on children are the devils instrument. They hav RUINED the enamel on my teeth.
Unfortunately yes, bad things happen to good people and effing @sshats seem to coast through life with the best of everything.
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Chickie said:
January 21st, 2010 at 9:40 pm
They seriously messed your teeth up? Maybe it’s an adult thing? Man, I hope so. I’d hate to do anything that would hurt LB’s teeth any more than they are crooked.
People that walk through shit and come out smelling like roses make me crazy.
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January 21st, 2010 11:09 am
“We’re not talking about your life, Aunt Anna.”
I love her sense of justice. What a kid!
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Chickie said:
January 21st, 2010 at 9:41 pm
She is such a little turd! I was all prepared to maybe sugarcoat life for her a little bit til she delivered that line.
I love her so.
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January 21st, 2010 4:28 pm
Mrs. Phos is a preschool teacher and the parents are always after fancy graduation ceremonies. I think these are the same parents that probably dress their little girls up like two-bit hookers and enter them in pageants as toddlers.
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Chickie said:
January 23rd, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Those little girls? Sweety calls them D.I.T.s. Dancers In Training.
This was BB telling me about his sister (coaew’s youngest) and when he told me about the party – it clicked as to why she wanted to pick him up early from baseball practice later on. For the party! *eyeroll*
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January 22nd, 2010 3:14 pm
Nowadays, they have graduations for everything. High school is a milestone. College is a milestone. But some of the earlier ceremonies… How can it be a big deal if there is everyone does it? Is success without the possibility of failure truly success? I wholeheartedly support parents celebrating their children’s accomplishments; but not everything is a milestone.
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Chickie said:
January 23rd, 2010 at 7:17 pm
I’m glad to hear you say this. I thought maybe I thought some of these things that I see people do are over the top because I haven’t birthed any kids.
When the boys passed out of kindergarten and elementary and middle school we did something little like have a special cake for dessert and they picked out dinner. We didn’t rent a pony and invite the neighborhood over or anything.
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January 23rd, 2010 6:12 pm
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