In 10 days these white legs are making their way to Las Vegas! Woot!
(Maybe you’ve seen the shirt around before…)
Let me ask you something…
When you see a friend making what you think is a bad choice – do you say something? Sometimes I don’t. (Unless I’m flat-out asked my opinion. Then I’ll tell you what I really think because you wanted to know.) You can just tell when someone has their mind good and set on something and nothing you say or do will make a difference. I think it’s sometimes best to just keep your mouth shut and when everything goes to hell in a handbasket – then you can help your friend get their shit together.
Sweety said this makes me a bad friend. A friend of mine is planning a wedding and I truly think it’s a bad idea but she has her mind set on it and I know what kind of person she is. I have kind of gently mentioned other alternatives (like, wait!) but she has no interest in them. I don’t see the point in sitting her down and going over all the reasons why I think it’s a bad idea. Nothing I say will change her mind. So why say anything and rain on her parade?
UPDATE! Thanks for your advice! Luckily, friend called me and said that the wedding is off! She caught the man in some lies and told him to buzz off. I’m glad.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
No, When it comes to something like a wedding, its probably best to keep your mouth closed. Getting married is an emotionally charged event in a person’s life. You could go from being close friend to ex-friend in a single comment. Tread lightly.
Your post is a little vague, so its hard to know whats going on. If you are fearing for your friends safety (abusive partner, etc) I would recommend that you talk to her, let her know you are there for her, but will fully support whatever decision she makes. You want her to feel like she can come to you, and not like you are judging her.
If it’s not a life or death matter, perhaps you could talk to someone in her family? Maybe they could say something to her. Sometimes its easier to take that kind of advice from a mom or sister, because they are bonded to you in a way that a friend isnt.
reply
March 17th, 2010 10:42 pm
Wow! Vegas? I hope you have a great time and please stay of out trouble. LOL
No comment on the friend, well, maybe one comment. If it is your bff then I think you should be able to tell her anything and vice a versa with her. I would avoid the wedding advice, never good to interfer.
If not I would not want to hurt her. So what does that say about me?
reply
March 17th, 2010 11:28 pm
I’m thankful that I’ve never been in a position like that with a friend. I hope everything works out. That’s a tough one.
Enjoy Vegas. That’s a great pic.
reply
March 18th, 2010 12:17 am
I agree with you. This is what she wants to do–whether it is a bad idea to you or anyone else—You hinted a bit—THAT didn’t work…So, I think you are right to just leave it alone and better to support her in HER choice…This will be her choice and her wedding! I think you are a good friend if you do this, this way.
reply
March 18th, 2010 12:31 am
Yeah…stay away from this one. Be there to help pick up the pieces if that’s the way things go (but don’t gloat!).
Love the coloring in this one! You wear it well! :-)
reply
March 18th, 2010 1:17 am
Enjoy your time in Vegas. I generally share my opinion; but not when it comes to things associated with relationships. People never listen. And it doesn’t make since to ruin the friendship when they are really going to need your help when you are proven right and everything goes wrong.
Happy HNT. That shirt is definitely well traveled.
reply
March 18th, 2010 3:39 am
This is why I don’t have friends.
reply
March 18th, 2010 7:49 am
Oh hey, you know my history with a certain friend who keeps choosing the wrong guys. The guy groped a 17 year old girl and that STILL wasn’t enough to make her realize he’s not “the one.”
I spoke up and we haven’t spoken since. So, if you value the friendship if there is anything there worth saving – yeah, keep your mouth shut. Sometimes people are destined for their trainwreck and they need to experience it for reasons you (or Sweety) may not understand. It’s not our job to save the world just preserve our little piece of it, unfortunately.
reply
March 18th, 2010 10:51 am
yes i always say my piece. Especially if I am sure a train wreck is coming. Sometimes it costs me friends, being right will do that though.
Excellent pic! Have fun in Vegas!
reply
March 18th, 2010 3:57 pm
oh man. hard to say without the background.
love the shirt!
reply
March 18th, 2010 8:49 pm
I vote against saying something regarding the wedding. Like Kelly said, you’re taking a huge risk of pissing the friend off and losing her. At this point you’re well prepared to help pick up the pieces and support your friend should something go downhill… but maybe just sit back and hope for the best?
I’m so jealous that Vegas gets to spend time with you and I don’t. ;)
reply
March 19th, 2010 1:35 pm
I think you should say something to the friend. U might make her think and possibly save het an embarrassment of an annulment or expensive wedding and divorce!! I would be upset if u DIDNT speak ur reservations to me if it were me!
Wish it was July already!!! Miss u!!
reply
March 22nd, 2010 9:51 am
Reply to “On The Move!”