My fantastical niece is being bullied at school.
I guess for awhile some girls had been excluding her from things but it went to a whole new level.
She got some new shoes last week that she loved and wore them to school. She did NOT know (and why would it matter anyway?) that one of the “popular” girls (to be known as BadSeed) in the class had the same shoes. BadSeed and a few of her friends shoved her to the ground on the playground and stomped on her feet until her shoes were dirty while they called her a copycat.
The next day, the teacher gave the class a speech about how everyone should be nice to each other and blah, blah, blah. Sylvie said that kids were nice to her on the playground that one day but now nobody plays with her. As she said, “Aunt Anna, I just don’t have any friends.”
When her parents asked Sylvie why she didn’t fight back, she said it was because she was afraid of being suspended. They told her if she got suspended from school for defending herself that she wouldn’t be in trouble at home. I guess BadSeed was physically picking on Sylvie a few days later so Sylvie said she “slammed BadSeed into the table a few times”. Sylvie has heard the story about how I took a rock to school in my bookbag and used it to whack a kid upside the head – I told her to NOT do anything like that.
Sylvie and her mom were talking and the subject of college came up. Sylvie got a weird look on her face and said, “Mom…what if there’s a grownup version of BadSeed at college?!” Gah. I am so pissed off that I want to drive to Oklahoma and beat up a bunch of little fifth grade bitches.
My sister has started picking Sylvie up from school during lunch and bringing her home so she doesn’t have to wander the playground alone or risk getting ganged up on by a bunch of girls.
She’s kind of a tomboy and prefers to wear sweatpants and converse sneakers to school even though she has lots of nice “girly” clothes and would rather slap a headband on than fix her hair. My sister suggested that maybe if she dressed up a bit and ironed her hair that she would be more approachable to people. Sylvie said if people didn’t want to be her friend because of the pants she had on that she didn’t need them to be her friend any other time. Smart kid.
It still makes me sad. Next year she’ll be going to a new school and I’m hoping that by being around some new kids that she’ll make some friends.
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Uh… many states have adopted LAWS against bullying and if that teacher knew it was going on… she is a court mandated reporter BY LAW and thus, broke a couple of laws by not immediately taking those little bitches up to the principal and having it dealt with appropriately.
Your sister should report the girls and the teacher to the principal and then move to the district if she doesn’t get satisfaction. Schools ought to be SCRAMBLING to get this shit taken care of given the recent cases in the news of kids being bullied until they commit suicide. It has to stop somewhere.
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Chickie said:
April 8th, 2010 at 9:04 pm
I think they did get in trouble through the principal’s office too. Sister had to go to the school after it happened for a conference. And then the teacher gave the speech then next day to the whole class.
I guess after Sylvie gave the girl a whack into the table that she hasn’t bothered her since. There’s only a few weeks of school left so she’s just decided to suck it up and see if things are better next year in a new environment.
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April 8th, 2010 8:56 pm
Why oh why oh WHY are girls so MEAN to each other??? It breaks my heart. I so glad Sylvie has the self confidence to realize that the kids who judge her based on her clothes aren’t the type of folks one needs to befriend. This inner strength should stand her in good stead. But in the mean time…oh my goodness! (I’d be glad to buy her a new pair of those shoes!)
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Chickie said:
April 8th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
I remember being picked on when I was a kid because we didn’t have nice stuff. It never occurred to me that kids pick on each other FOR having nice stuff. I’m glad that she’s not superficial. When she’s here and we have friends over with smaller kids, she’s good about making sure that they play games that everyone can do. She really is a good kid. :)
The shoes were some paint-spattered looking ones and she’d wanted pink but her mom said these would go with more things. When she was being pummeled, BadSeed said something about how she was going to get the pink shoes.
My sister said she’d been planning on getting Sylvie the pink shoes for her birthday but didn’t want to do it then because she was afraid Sylvie would think she was encouraging “keeping up with the neighbors”.
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Chickie said:
April 8th, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Oh, I just talked to my sister and she did get Sylvie the pink shoes. She asked her first if she was worried about the other kids calling her a copycat and she said she didn’t care what other kids said. Good for her.
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April 8th, 2010 9:00 pm
I had to transfer Chicken at the end of 6th grade because it was so bad. When I talked to his school counselor she said “boys will be boys”! Fuck you lady!! Poor niece. I hope it gets better.
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Chickie said:
April 8th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
To hell with the whole “boys will be boys” thing. People say that shit to try and excuse bad behavior.
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April 8th, 2010 9:10 pm
Oh my gay baby, this story makes me feel sick to my stomach. You know my nephew Matthew is Autistic and he’s had trouble making friends and this reminds me of that. That and all the gay children that get bullied. The girls who kill themselves because of the mean girls at school. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Give me the word and I will head over to OK. I don’t give a shit. I’m known for scaring the crap out of bully kids.
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Do you want to drive straight to OK or shall I meet you along the way?
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April 8th, 2010 9:34 pm
OH I hate little bullies. I was bullied as a child and my oldest son was picked on, too, in school at one point. I am glad that your sister is standing up for your niece and I hope that she keeps a good eye on the situation.
It is so scary these days, more so than when I was a child, I think.
I would also been “in”on making a road trip to Oklahoma :)
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I really didn’t like my elementary years. Not only did I not have clothes like the other kids but I had the only Asian Mom in the school. If I had a fucking nickel for every time some fathead pulled their eyes back with their fingers and said something in “Chinese”, I’d be rich.
I’d thought that Sylvie wouldn’t be picked on because she’s a nice kid and she lives in a more diverse place. Guess kids will find something….
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April 8th, 2010 10:14 pm
Chickie, I am sorry for all of this crap Sylvie is having to go through. I will keep her in my prayers for safety. These days you never know what some jealous crazy bully will do.
I was picked on, and I took care of business. I spent a lot of time in the principal’s office. I can’t recommend beating kids up. Times were different when I was a kid. I always stood up for the underdog.
My youngest son had death treats in 9th grade, long before any Columbine. The school board did not take this serious. My hubs and I went round and roiund with that danm school. Luckily, the kid did not kill him.
Where and what the hell are these parent’s teaching their bully kids? Keep complaining because no school board wants negative exoposure and if they can not resolve it then go to the local TV reporter. This kind of exposure is the last thing they want. Keep a journal and document everything, follow up with complaints and if nothing is done then take it even higher.
This just burns me up and I hate mean girls. ergghhh
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
,,,I took care of business. I remember getting on the bus when I was in Headstart and my Dad saying, “Have a good day and don’t take any shit off any one!”. This is probably why I whacked kids in the heads with rocks and wrenches and have such a highly sharpened sense of revenge.
It’s a good thing that I don’t live closer to Sylvie because I’d go nutso on people.
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April 8th, 2010 11:25 pm
Grrrrrrr! Nothing makes me sadder or madder than hearing about bullies on the playground. The more I hear about it these days, the more I think. “It was never like that when we were kids.” What is going on today? When I hear about kids being isolated and left out and having to rearrange schedules to avoid the meanies, it makes me mad because no one has the right to stand in the way of someone else’s education and socializaton. We have a free hot-line in Canada called the KidsHelpPhone that kids can call if they need to talk to someone. Sometimes having an outside perspective on the bullying is helpful. Parents can be emotionally attached the the issues. Teachers might be more worried about covering their own asses and schools sometimes want to turn a blind eye to it all. Is there any thing like that down there? I’m praying that this gets settled soon for your neice. – G
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
I don’t think there’s anything like you described here (or where she is). I’m really hoping that it’s something that blows over over the summer and when she changes schools.
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April 9th, 2010 9:21 am
Sylvie said if people didn’t want to be her friend because of the pants she had on that she didn’t need them to be her friend any other time. Smart kid.
Amen to that… at least she knows she doesn’t need to change who she is for deserving people to like her. She’s well ahead of her years.
The saddest part is girls treat each other this way all throughout school. I hope this ends for her quite soon, for sure by the time she’s in a new school. I’d beat up those kids with you.
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:32 pm
It made my heart swell when I heard that she said that and it made me incredibly sad at the same time. Sister said she thinks Sylvie’s in an “in between” sort of phase – where she’s still tomboyish but she’s starting to want to do more girly things too. She said for so long Sylvie has been one to play with boys that now that she’s starting to want girl friends, that the girls don’t know what to think so they’re mean.
Hey! I bet we could even sneak you into the school as a “student”! LOL
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April 9th, 2010 12:02 pm
This post made my heart hurt. I don’t understand the whole Mean Girls thing, in spite of being picked on as a kid. I am proud beyond words that your niece is who she is, in spite of what those snot nosed girls think.
Encourage your sister to keep fighting back. That’s the only way to get crap like this to stop.
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Chickie said:
April 9th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
She has always been a kid wise beyond her years. She knows she’s awesome even if her little peers haven’t figured it out yet!
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April 9th, 2010 9:04 pm
Ooh, that makes me so mad! Poor little kiddo! Damn, kids are mean. I hope mine aren’t the mean ones. I really, really do. I was heartened the other day because Cora Jane totally took the new boy at daycare under her wing. There’s hope. I don’t blame you for being pissed.
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Chickie said:
April 10th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Oh, I would be so pissed off if the boys were mean. I’m glad they aren’t. I think they just kind of float along through school right now. We tell them to duck their heads and pull the wagon.
And how sweet of Cora Jane! That’s totally how my niece is. She was so nice to smaller kids when she was visiting last summer. Heck, she worried more about making sure they were included than it has occurred to me!
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April 10th, 2010 3:48 pm
Those girls should be suspended. As we all know by now, bullying is NOT harmless. We’ve had far too many kids hurt themselves because they couldn’t deal with it or take matters into their own hands and do something to the kids that bullied them. Teachers and administrators need to understand the limits of “kids will be kids”.
I hope that the new school is better. Is it because she is changing grades or moving locations? It would be a shame if the bullies advanced to the same school.
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Chickie said:
April 10th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
It’s because she changing grades but there are 3 (i think) different middle schools that the kids get scattered to. So, hopefully, even if the bullies come along, maybe they’ll be too new there to be mean.
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April 10th, 2010 5:11 pm
I think that is just HORRIFIC! Sylvie doesn’t deserve to be treated tha way—Trulky, No One Does! I hope she can maintain her sense of self-worth—She is such a “person” already…And good for her, sticking to sho she is….
I will go with you to Oklahoma and beat those stupid girls up!
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Chickie said:
April 14th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
I’m really hoping she keeps her chin up. I remember grade school being really ripe “bully time” when I was a kid. Hopefully, it will pass.
If it doesn’t, I’ll let you know when I organize a road trip to Oklahoma. Heh.
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April 11th, 2010 6:52 pm
there will always be bullies. It’s sad, but true. I’m glad Sylvie is learning early that she doesn’t have to take the crap and she doesn’t have to conform to what other people think in order to fit in. I bet if she looks around, she might find another little tomboy to befriend.
I was often excluded in High School. I learned to find people who wanted me around. I also learned that the best way to deal with a bully is to show them you are strong. I’m so happy to know that Sylvie is learning that early and that she isn’t afraid to stand up for herself.
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Chickie said:
April 14th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
When she was visiting a few weeks ago, we were half-sleep talking before taking a nap and she was telling me about the one girl in the class that is mean to everyone but who everyone tries to be nice to. I realize now that was BadSeed and people are nice to her to keep her wrath away.
I’m proud of Sylvie for not feeling like she has to go with the herd.
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April 11th, 2010 9:42 pm
My daughter (an older 4th grader) is going through the same thing and it’s heartbreaking. Kids at this age will pick out anything they perceive as a weakness and do their best to steal the soul of the other child.
I kept hoping that talking her through it at home would work, but it hasn’t. I eventually went to her reading tutor to see if she had suggestions (since one of the things they were picking on was her dyslexia.) Within 5 minutes the tutor, the special ed coordinator, and the principal were all in conference in the middle of the hall. Turns out they knew exactly who it was, though they didn’t know what was going on. I’m not sure a solution has been reached, but we’re taking it day by day.
Sylvie’s mom needs to talk to the administration and teacher. Teachers don’t always see what is happening and sometimes they need it brought to their attention so they can take care of it.
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Chickie said:
April 21st, 2010 at 8:03 pm
It seems that a new batch of girls are picking on her now. My sister wanted to go to the school and say something and the niece freaked out and told her that she wouldn’t tell her if kids were being mean if she was going to go to the school.
So, she’s picking Sylvie up from school to have lunch at home now to cut down on the free time these little shitheads will have to pick on her.
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April 16th, 2010 4:59 pm
Is it just me? Where are the parents? When did this behavior become okay and why would any parent allow their child to behave like this?
Sorry, never mind, what was I thinking. The parents are like that too.
I hope your niece finds a group of kids to be friends with soon. I hope that the badseed learns before she too is hurt.
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April 27th, 2010 1:18 am
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