I’m a Fountain of Inappropriateness


You know what I think is neat? The coaew talks about not having money and it’s hard for her to do things with the boys because of that but guess what I spied on her hobbit foot today?

A new tattoo. (By new, it wasn’t there the last time I looked at her a few months ago.)

A Jesus fish. Because nothing says “I’m a Christian!” like drawing a fish on your foot. I think if she was really dedicated, she’d slam some nails through her hands and feet. I volunteer to do the nailing.

Sweety says that I said, “Oh my god. She’s got a Jesus fish on her foot.” loudly enough that she heard. WTFE. It’s not that I have a problem with tattoos (Hi! I’m marked up!) or Jesus fish. Whatever she would have stamped onto her foot would have drawn the same reaction from me.

Don’t say you don’t have gas money to get your kids and then do frivolous shit.

blogpost!

She called Sweety this morning to try and project some guilt onto him.

This weekend (the boys are at her house on the weekends) BB overheard his stepdad saying that his exwife wanted them to come to her house for a party. After hearing this, BB pulled coaew aside and told her that he’d rather not go. That functions are awkward because he doesn’t know where to sit or what to do.

So coaew tells Sweety that she thinks BB is talking about his and LB’s baseball games and school functions. Because we don’t all sit together at the baseball field or at school things (Not usually anyway. Today I saved that twat and her spawn seats at LB’s class awards ceremony. This was before I knew about this conversation or I probably wouldn’t have bothered.) and that it makes BB uncomfortable.

Um, no. I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that he was referring to the situation at your house that had just been mentioned! School functions? The boys sit with whatever parent they came with. Baseball games? The boys don’t sit with any adults. They wander around (under my eagle eye) and network with their friends. Yeah, coaew, I’m pretty sure that he was talking about the party that he’d just told you he didn’t want to go to.

If she was in the hospital – I’d step on her ventilator hose.


20 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Screw stepping on it, a well placed slash is much more effective. The air leaks out just slowly enough that you won’t be there as gasps her last (therefore you have an alibi) and she still dies.

    or, you know, just smother her with a pillow wrapped in plastic.

    reply

    Chickie said:

    You have some seriously useful information!

    Thank you.

    reply

    May 25th, 2010 9:00 pm

  2. I really have to go with Marissa on this one. Seriously.

    reply

    Chickie said:

    I’ve never owned a pocketknife before but I think I need one. You know…just in case.

    reply

    May 25th, 2010 9:18 pm

  3. S

    Cripes. She sounds like a huge pain in the ass. I will admit you had me giggling with that kitty picture. I saved it to my computer to use at a later date :)

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Glad I gave you a giggle. :) Figured I should lighten up the bitching with something!

    reply

    May 25th, 2010 9:33 pm

  4. I’ve said it before, but the offer still stands: I’ll hold her down while you punch her in the face.

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Okay.

    And it goes without saying that you’ll be my alibi too, right?

    reply

    May 26th, 2010 2:34 am

  5. Georgina

    A Jesus fish tattoo? Seriously? WWJD? He’d get a tube of henna and play around with that first. It’s much cheaper and you can get rid of ill-conceived designs when you realize what a design decision you’ve made. – G

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Bwahahahahaha! Yes, Jesus would probably go with something less permanent!

    Like I told Sweety, if she wasn’t such a giant douchepickle – maybe I could look at the tattoo and not snicker as much. Perhaps if she really was a good Christian she’d just be one instead of branding herself as one.

    reply

    May 26th, 2010 9:48 am

  6. Lord…that woman never strays from what interests her most–HERSELF! I love the picture of her with nails through her palms….”douchpickle”…lol, lol…What a great expression….!
    You always come up with the most unusual and wonderful descriptions, my dear….lol!

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Regular curse words are just too common to describe some people. So I make up my own. :)

    reply

    May 27th, 2010 5:09 am

  7. Kelly

    I’m was laughing so loud that Alice the Kitty cowered! The coaew is a true douchpickle!

    reply

    Chickie said:

    She’s not even a crunchy douchepickle. She’s a yucky, soggy one that wasn’t pickled properly. That bitch can’t do anything right.

    reply

    May 27th, 2010 7:55 am

  8. I don’t even know the woman and I vote for the nails in hands and feet also!

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Your vote has been counted. Once I hit a certain number I think I’m going to go buy a hammer.

    reply

    May 27th, 2010 10:11 am

  9. Some people are branded as idiots. Some do it to themselves – Its a PSA.

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Heh, so true.

    reply

    June 2nd, 2010 2:17 am

  10. Does she even know the significance of a Jesus fish or did she just think it was a cool design? With her, you can never be sure.

    reply

    Chickie said:

    Bwahahahahahaha! Your comment kills me and with her, you really never can be sure.

    I’m betting she saw the design on a bumper sticker and figured it out.

    Oh, I’m so mean…

    reply

    June 2nd, 2010 3:17 am

Reply to “I’m a Fountain of Inappropriateness”