I had a fantastic time visiting family in Arizona! I saw my Mom’s sister (who I hadn’t seen since I was 2), her daughter and grandson (all of them are visiting from Korea) and met my Mom’s nephew’s family. His wife was an absolute sweetheart and their son was adorable.
We did a little bit of sightseeing and went to the zoo but for the most part, we stuck around the house and ate Korean food while talking. It was awesome. It was so awesome that I cried the whole way home because I hated to leave and return to regular life.
My plane landed in Orlando about 20 minutes early and I took that time to cry in the bathroom in the hopes that I could turn off the waterworks before Sweety picked me up. Sweety later told me that when he saw my crying ass sitting outside the airport that his first thought was that I looked homeless and miserable and maybe he should just leave me there. Yeah, that would have been great!
Before I left, Sweety asked me to put together a schedule for when the boys would be here and at the coaew’s this summer so he could give it to her and once she saw it they would both be looking at the same thing if she wanted to change anything about it. It’s nothing set in stone – just an idea. Well, her panties got in a wad after she saw it. It was done on the computer so I guess she assumed it was me that typed it all up and that pissed her off. She called Sweety ranting and raving about how the boys are her and his kids and I shouldn’t have any input in their lives. (hmm, I wonder if it’s ever occurred to her that I’ve lived with them quite a bit more than she has the past 9 years? and would it have been better if Sweety would have written all of it out by hand?)
So, they’re not MY kids but the motherfucking cunt wants me to change MY fucking vacation to suit her. How about a big glass of “go fuck yourself with a smoldering garden spade”? We’ve taken our family vacation the same time of year for the past 4 or 5 years to suit her. We used to go on vacation in June but that interfered with one of her crotchlings birthdays and the party she likes to have so we moved our vacation into July, the same time in July, a few years ago.
She’s all pissed off that our vacation time is overlapping with the time her husband has taken off for vacation and she wants to take the boys camping. I’m planning on leaving to head to Oklahoma on Tuesday night after I get off work but she wants me to wait til Wednesday.
I’m thinking of being a bitch and not waiting. Dammit, I’ve planned on leaving on Tuesday evening. *I* don’t have any kids so what makes her think she can tell me when to go on vacation to accommodate *her* kids?
Yeah, fuck it. I’m leaving on Tuesday night like I’ve planned and everyone can suck it and deal.
I really hope a bear eats her ass when they go camping. I hope it fucking rains every day they’re camping and mosquitoes descend like a plague of locusts. A crazy ax murderer that likes women that look like Walter Matthau would be nice too.
I’m afraid that I’m going to get to the end of this journey of raising the boys and just be like “wow, that’s it.” I need a family of my own. I need kids that will call me “mom” and give me hugs. Kids that I can raise how I want to. Kids that I don’t have to walk around on eggshells with because they aren’t *my* kids and OMG what if I do something to upset them and it gets back to the coaew?
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Hence why I swore I’d only date a man whose kids were either grown, or their mother was nowhere in the picture, ever.
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Chickie said:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Ah, the silly thing is that until I came along – she wasn’t in the picture. Naively, I thought “Great! She’s abandoned her kids and I’ll never have to deal with her!” After she found out we got married she told Sweety that she was “going to be a mother now”.
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renn said:
June 4th, 2010 at 9:04 pm
You know, that last sentence burned me more than anything. That means she’s, what? Being a “parent” to her boys out of jealousy or to make your lives hell?
Excellent.
I hereby declare freedom on your behalf. You are hereby free to refuse any “wiggle room” in her schedule. You are to speak to the boys and request their input in certain situations (as you desire it). As she is throwing a tantrum over your vacation, you are hereby free to shrug and congratulate her willingness to keep the boys for an extended time, if she is “unwilling to be reasonable” about your departure time. She can either comply or bite your sparkly @ss.
When she’s done biting yours, instruct her to fly north…where she can bite MINE.
Your nickname for her really fits.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:37 am
I think she just doesn’t want to believe that anyone else can/is capable of/deserves to “parent” her children. She doesn’t get that she can’t say that I have no input in their lives but then expect me to rearrange my stuff to suit her.
I will take your allowance of wiggle room!
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June 3rd, 2010 10:34 pm
Yep — having your own is so much nicer than dealing with the children of some crazy lady — even if you do happen to love those children bunches.
Be prepared for the one downside. The moment when I realized, “Wait a minute! You mean, he’s, like. . . OURS every. Single. WEEKEND? No breaks?” But getting it all, the good, the bad, and the ugly was much nicer than the eggshells and paranoia.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:37 am
LOL That’s what Sweety said. “You know, when they’re our kids they’re here all the time…it’ll be different than what we do now!” Yeah, I know. But I also believe in something that he and the coaew didn’t when the boys were little – the occasional, well-trusted babysitter.
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June 3rd, 2010 10:43 pm
I’m so sorry, Chickie. Sorry you had to say goodbye to your family, sorry that in spite of how much you do love and take care of those boys you get no (and will probably never get) the appropriate appreciation and flexibility from their mother. You have your priorities right but I’ll bet it doesn’t feel that way right now.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:38 am
I try to be nice and do the right thing but sometimes I get sick of it.
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June 4th, 2010 7:38 am
Chickie, I am sorry that you are sad, but how wonderful you got to meet your mom’s family that you have not seen in forever.
As for the boys, you love them so much and I am positive one day they will realize how much you love them and how amazing you are.You are a natural born mother and whether or not you gave birth to them, It does not mean that you can not love them despite their mother.
You will never know the seeds of love that you have planted in them. I know it will come back to you because you are such a good person.
Don’t give up on them or yourself.
I hope you stop and see me when you go to Ok.
Love ya and big hugs.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:38 am
Sometimes I think the boys don’t appreciate anything then they’ll do something to show me that they do. BB did a bit of artwork on a paper that I told them to write down what they wanted for lunch on. He told me to not open it til I left the house. It was a little drawing with “thank you” on it. :)
I definitely want to come see you when I’m coming through Texas! We’ll have to get together and figure out the date!
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June 4th, 2010 8:38 pm
I am so happy for you, dear Chickie, that you had such a WONDERFUL time with your Momma’s Family…..That is perfection!
And then, to come home to that old bat’s complainy whiny bulldhit—HELP…!
Your “spade” image is one of m,y favorite thiungs you have ever created…And while it is up there, put a spin on it!
I jnow those boys love you. I absolutely know they do. And someday they will show you how grateful they are for you and your love….!
I wouldn’t change one damn thing for her. Not One! Tell her to eat it!
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:38 am
It was truly a wonderful time meeting my Mom’s family. Even though I don’t speak Korean, it was great to see my Mom visiting with her sister and enjoying it so much.
My patience with coaew has rapidly dwindled. The dumbass called Sweety last week to bitch that it costs money to watch him play some of his baseball game (like $5 for a few of the games) and that she didn’t know what she’d do! She might have to sit in the car outside of the baseball field. Sorry, I have no sympathy for a natural brunette that can pay to keep her hair blonde, nails done and a fake tan on.
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June 5th, 2010 5:11 am
You can tell her that you “know this guy in Texas, who lacks moral issues involving shovels and blunt force trauma to the head”
Hang in there. Let me know if she ever visits my part of the world. I know just the place to disappear her for good.
As for bears, stash some french fries under the front seat of her cuntmobile. The bears will rip it apart looking for them.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:39 am
Hey, how about you, the missus and the dirt urchins come here? I’ll put you up and even take you to a theme park or two! I’ll also take you gator hunting…
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June 6th, 2010 9:49 pm
Ahhh parting is such bittersweet sorrow isn’t it?
You know how I feel about the COAEW and I give you mad MAD props for putting the boys before any bullsh*t with her many many times. Enjoy your vacay and to hades with HER!
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:39 am
It was soooo hard to leave but I was really glad that I had the chance to go. I know that all of us getting together like that isn’t very likely.
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:40 am
Sweety says when LB turns 18 that he’s going to let coaew have a piece of his mind. I told him if he was going to wait that long to not bother. No sense in letting her know at that late date how annoying she really was to him.
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June 7th, 2010 10:54 am
Should have dropped by while you were in AZ!!
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:40 am
I almost emailed you! But I didn’t know what you’d think about meeting an internet weirdo. I’ll let you know when I get out that way again!
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June 7th, 2010 2:38 pm
I know that it doesn’t seem that way now; but your days of having to deal with her are drawing to a close. Soon the boys will be “grown” and making other own decisions about when and where how to spend their summer. And I’m sure that they’ll want to spend time with their Dad and you.
When are you going back to Oklahoma? Will your mom’s sister’s family sill be there or will they have gone home?
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:40 am
We can see now how the boys are growing and what they’re doing is taking away from her but she doesn’t see it yet. I think it’s going to hit her like a ton of bricks when BB gets a job and can’t be at her house all weekend long.
Going back to OK in July. My Mom’s family won’t be there but my sister’s (with my niece!) family and some of her in-laws will so it will be a good time. I’m looking forward to it.
And my Mom doesn’t know it yet, but Sweety and I are coming up for a visit in September (my sister’s family will come too) because we were able to get $9 flights to the airport that’s close to her! I can’t wait to see the look on her face when we all surprise her.
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June 8th, 2010 2:54 am
So glad you enjoyed those violated bears…lol….I told you we were all bawdy….!
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:41 am
I fell over laughing when I saw what was happening to those sweet bears. You all have such a good time!
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June 9th, 2010 12:40 pm
Hows’ those vacation plans coming?
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Chickie said:
June 13th, 2010 at 5:41 am
Eh, they’re coming. Don’t know they’ll go how I want them to but I’ll get mine in the end.
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June 10th, 2010 11:13 am
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