My Mom has taken all the kids to the movie (Yes, movie. Only one screen. Karate Kid is playing. I’m boycotting it.) and Sweety is being super nice and mowing her lawn. I am supervising my hair brother (aka Mom’s spoiled chihuahua) from the safety of the house while my mind spins in circles.
This happens every year – about midway through our vacation I start to worry about work. That maybe I did something wrong and when I get back to work I’ll discover that I’ve been fired. WHY DO I DO THIS?
Is it because this is the only time of year that I don’t eat Xanax four times a week? Am I detoxing from that shit and extreme paranoia is a side effect? Gah. You know what? I don’t even have caffeine at work anymore because I don’t want to be alert when I’m there. I eat my little pill on the way to work and sleep with my eyes open all day long. And if something freaks me out during the day? Well, maybe I’ll take a bathroom break and chew one of those little blue bitches up on my way off the floor.
I’m already planning on going into work on my own time the day before I’m scheduled back to clear out email and anything that’s been left on my desk. This will also give me the chance to make sure all my passwords work so I’ll know I’m still employed.

16 Comments, Comment or Ping
That is strange that you would do this every time you go on vacation. I wonder, too, why this happens to you, my dear…..Have you ever been “fired” from a job while on Vacation?
It sounds like you all are enjoying your time there with your Mom….I am happy for you!
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
I’ve never been fired from anything. I think I’m just paranoid and like to worry.
It is so nice to see my Mom! :)
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July 23rd, 2010 5:32 am
I’m so like that too. I worry about getting axed for …? who knows what. I’ve never had a bad review and I have no reason to fear getting fired, but still I do worry. I also worry about what kind of disasters others have left for me to fix when I get back, instead of making an effort and figuring it out themselves. Hair brother? LOL – G
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Yeah, I can’t think of WHY I might get fired. Just that maybe I will. Gah.
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July 23rd, 2010 9:28 am
Are you afraid they can read your mind at work? Stop thinking so much and just enjoy your time away from that stinking job. You work hard and you deserve this vacation. Enough said.
Love ya,
Pam
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
“Are you afraid they can read your mind at work?” LOL No, I guess not…I should chill out.
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July 23rd, 2010 10:19 am
I used to work for a company that would sometimes be “late” doing the EFT for payroll; so I would always go into work when I got back from vacation and make sure that I got paid and wasn’t going to write a bunch of checks that weren’t going to bounce. (Obviously this was in the days before online banking.)
Every company I’ve worked for hadn’t been able to keep upcoming layoffs a secret so I always make sure I’m at work on axe day. We’ve “right-sized” so much over the past year that we have names for all the days like “Trash ‘em Tuesday”, “Whack ‘em Wednesday” etc.
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I always make sure to submit my timecard before going on vacation so I don’t have to wait weeks for incorrections to be fixed. Our place hasn’t had any layoffs but if they decide (for whatever reason) that they want to get rid of you, it’s not hard to do.
I had a friend who was fired a few years ago basically because her supervisor was mad that she wanted off his team to work a different shift. The same day she went to her new shift, he was there and fired her and used made up reasons. Then the company tried to deny her unemployment. She got a lawyer and proved that the reasons listed officially for the firing were bullshit.
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July 23rd, 2010 8:28 pm
WOW. You know, soul sister, I do the same thing when I take ONE DAY off. I keep thinking that I’ve caused a major distress to the whole company, and when I come back, they’ll say “Um, Becky, yesterday was HELL! Things went crazy, nobody knew what to do….we’re gonna have to let you go for not being here!” LOL
And I’m boycotting KK too. Mainly because you can’t remake that wonderful movie, and as much as I like Will Smith, I don’t think it’s fair that 1) his son is the star, and 2) Jaden Smith got top billing over Jackie Chan. REALLY?!
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
I’m not worried that things will go to hell because I’m there (that’s what I like about my job. Being an ant. Things run the same if I’m there or not). I’m afraid that the powers to be will decide for whatever reason (maybe they can hire a newbie in cheaper?) that I need to go.
Your reasons for boycotting KK are the same as mine!
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renn said:
July 25th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Have you seen Ralph Macchio’s “Wax on, F@#k off!” on Funny or Die? I’ve watched it at LEAST 4 times now.
I can’t believe that he’s frigging FORTY EIGHT. He’s STILL hot.
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Chickie said:
August 18th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
I looked that up and it is some funny shit!
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July 23rd, 2010 10:49 pm
Just leave the AK at home…
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
No AK. I don’t like loud noises.
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July 24th, 2010 11:16 pm
I do it too
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Chickie said:
July 25th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
I’m glad I’m not alone. :)
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July 25th, 2010 3:43 am
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