I was busy brushing my teeth this weekend, when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Sweety come into the bathroom with Bean. He’s telling me to hurry and look at them but it takes me a minute to turn around.
As you may (or may not) know, we like to give things voices around here. The dogs all have their own voices and talk to us regularly. Even Chi Chi. Due to her freeze-dried nature, her voice is rather raspy. Like she’s been smoking for 50 years. Having a voice naturally extends to Bean. We talk for her and sometimes even wobble her bottom jaw to enhance her “speaking” abilities.
Now people, we are some sick fuckers here. Most humor is highly inappropriate and totally tasteless. This was no exception.
I swing around to see Bean sitting in the crook of Sweety’s arm and she is grasping in her right hand an untwisted coathanger.
Hey, baby! What are you doing?!
I wanted to show you this.
What is that?
When I was inside of you there was a sister with me but I evicted her with this coathanger.
At that point, all I could do was turn around and carefully inspect the sink faucet because sometimes I run out of words and this was one of those times. Sweety is cackling his ass off because if one of us can render the other speechless then something has been accomplished.
I finally found some words.
Dude. The first time I really see my baby hold something? It’s a fucking twisted coathanger and she’s making a joke about aborting her roommate? Damn. Just…damn.
And then I couldn’t help it – I laughed.
12 Comments, Comment or Ping
<– is cackling her ass off too!
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January 17th, 2012 8:59 pm
Is it a bad thing that I anticipated the punch line as soon as I read the word ‘coathanger’?
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Becky said:
January 17th, 2012 at 9:22 pm
Me too. We’re all going to hell.
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January 17th, 2012 9:07 pm
This is why we get along so well… The humor in our house would probably make some people have a stroke!
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January 17th, 2012 9:12 pm
This is so wrong. Why can’t I stop laughing?
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January 17th, 2012 9:14 pm
I wish I could say I think it’s funny—But….My Dear Chickie…I don’t. Yes—-Pretty “Sicko”….! I love you all anyway….!
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January 17th, 2012 10:37 pm
Wow…sick,twisted,and funny as Hell. I need to meet Sweetie.
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January 18th, 2012 12:33 am
Wow. You guys can joke about anything. Which one of you is speechless more often?
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Chickie said:
January 21st, 2012 at 8:13 pm
Probably me. But when I stun Sweety he’s usually speechless longer because I like to wait and drop something truly cringeworthy infrequently. I like the element of surprise.
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January 18th, 2012 11:53 pm
Wishing I hadn’t read this while I was on a work conference call…..laughing too loudly!
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January 19th, 2012 3:28 pm
Oh I laughed so hard I cried! You guys are highly hilarious.
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January 23rd, 2012 11:47 am
You sick puppies are hilarious! I shouldn’t be catching up on your page when I am home sick. I laughed so hard I went into a coughing fit!
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January 26th, 2012 4:17 pm
Reply to “We’re Sickos. Total Sickos.”