Paying for My Raising


The Bean had been leaving school at 11:30 and noticed as more kids switched to staying until 3. When it got down to her and two other kids, she announced after a pickup, “The morning children are dwindling, Mom. I want to be an afternoon child!” Now she is. She’s been an afternoon child for a few weeks now and likes it. She gets to take a lunch and takes a thermos of beans if she has a choice. She’s getting to go on little field trips in the afternoon and taking more music classes and yoga. All of this is great and good. The downside?

Little shitbird doesn’t want to nap in the afternoon. Bean is very sweet when she is sweet and absolutely insane when she’s not. Tonight she lost her shit in a grand way. We have never had a tantrum like she threw. It started because I offered her water instead of something tastier to her palate and then cranked up when I said she couldn’t take an iPad in the car while we ran to the grocery store. She was so crazy with the screaming and crying and wailing that I momentarily lost my bearings and all I could do was stand in the garage and cackle at the absurdity of the situation. That’s when she took off her mother fucking SHOE and threw it at me. That got my attention and then I got her attention. She calmed down and wanted to go next door to say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa. Even though the sun was still up, she knew that she was fried. Girl passed out for the night before 6 p.m.

I’m really hoping that she doesn’t wake up at 4 all ready to start the day.

Her school has been practicing for a 5k that is going to occur soon. Each class goes outside and runs their asses off around a track they’ve made. A couple of weeks ago they were having their last practice and parents were invited to watch and cheer. Each time they ran a lap, they got a little bracelet. Bean got 14 of those things. When I saw the track, I really thought she’d be lucky to make it around a couple of times. I ran (shuffled…whatever) with her on her last lap and was glad to only go around once.

Race Day