Around Here

Bean wiped her own damned ass at home tonight. She’s been doing it as school for awhile but not here. She did and and exclaimed, “This is really exciting!” Yes. Yes, it is.

She told me today, “Mom, you shine even when the sun isn’t out. You don’t need polish on your toes to sparkle.”

The little jar the flowers are in is about 1.5 inches tall. Really tiny.

tiny arrangement

Bean likes to do “flower arranging”. They pick flowers at school to decorate their classroom tables and she’s started doing it here too. I think it’s cute as hell. Do you know how many tiny piles of dead wildflowers we have blowing around here? All of them that she brings to me clutched in her sweaty little hands.

This is the face of fury.

the fury

Tiny Dog was pissed the fuck OFF because Bean was singing. She doesn’t like to see Bean having a good time. My angry little old lady. I love her so. She’s lost so many teeth that her tongue won’t stay in her mouth. The only reason you don’t see it in that photo is because she had it drawn back to growl properly.

Sad news. Oliver left us in November. He was old and had been having health problems. I miss hearing him sniff around the house all of the time. Sometimes I think I hear his fat feet on the floor. He was batshit crazy but he was a good boy.

the devil you know

Tiny Dog missed him for a hot minute and then turned into a different dog. She still has her grumpy as hell moments but she’s much more laid back now. For a couple of weeks, she’d cry at bedtime but she was also a lot more relaxed during the day. I’ve realized that she wants to be an only dog so we probably won’t be getting another dog anytime soon. I’ll let her live out her life without worrying constantly that another dog might be in her food bowl. She will even let Bean pet her and sometimes carry her around. I about fell over the first time I saw that happening.

Paying for My Raising

The Bean had been leaving school at 11:30 and noticed as more kids switched to staying until 3. When it got down to her and two other kids, she announced after a pickup, “The morning children are dwindling, Mom. I want to be an afternoon child!” Now she is. She’s been an afternoon child for a few weeks now and likes it. She gets to take a lunch and takes a thermos of beans if she has a choice. She’s getting to go on little field trips in the afternoon and taking more music classes and yoga. All of this is great and good. The downside?

Little shitbird doesn’t want to nap in the afternoon. Bean is very sweet when she is sweet and absolutely insane when she’s not. Tonight she lost her shit in a grand way. We have never had a tantrum like she threw. It started because I offered her water instead of something tastier to her palate and then cranked up when I said she couldn’t take an iPad in the car while we ran to the grocery store. She was so crazy with the screaming and crying and wailing that I momentarily lost my bearings and all I could do was stand in the garage and cackle at the absurdity of the situation. That’s when she took off her mother fucking SHOE and threw it at me. That got my attention and then I got her attention. She calmed down and wanted to go next door to say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa. Even though the sun was still up, she knew that she was fried. Girl passed out for the night before 6 p.m.

I’m really hoping that she doesn’t wake up at 4 all ready to start the day.

Her school has been practicing for a 5k that is going to occur soon. Each class goes outside and runs their asses off around a track they’ve made. A couple of weeks ago they were having their last practice and parents were invited to watch and cheer. Each time they ran a lap, they got a little bracelet. Bean got 14 of those things. When I saw the track, I really thought she’d be lucky to make it around a couple of times. I ran (shuffled…whatever) with her on her last lap and was glad to only go around once.

Race Day

Cousin Time

The niece arrived a few days ago! Yay! The Bean is having a large time playing with Sylvie as well as giving her a hard time.

Bean says that going to bed with Sylvie makes her nervous. I think she just despises bedtime so much that she latches on to anything about it to bitch about. She snuggles with Sylvie until she wakes up and realizes that she is and then she gets into our bed. Bean has learned if she wakes me up that I’ll put her back in her own bed so she’s started going to Sweety’s side of the bed to climb in.


Very soon, Sylvie, Bean and I will be going to California for a few days. We’re going to spend a couple of days right off of Hollywood Boulevard and will be close enough to walk and do touristy things. And then we will go to visit Amy‘s family! Sylvie was asking how I knew her and was concerned when I said that we met on the internet. “Oh. How do you know they’re not serial killers? Will I be safe?” I explained that I’ve been out to visit several times and have escaped unscathed so we should be okay. That made her feel better.

My sister sent a ninja suit for Bean. She looooooves it. She’d been insisting for a couple of weeks that I refer to her and “Black Ninja” when she didn’t have a suit so she lost her marbles when she saw this. She put it on and kept screaming, “A ninja never gives up!”

ready to attack



When she’s not being Black Ninja, she likes to be a rock-and-roll star with a stage name of “Blue-Oh”. Where the hell she got that name, I do not know. Rockstars need lipstick. She sneaked this out of the medicine cabinet and applied it by herself. She can put lipstick on better than me.



Bean has clothes. She just doesn’t like to wear them. She loses them as soon as she gets home from school. Can’t say that I blame her.

Good Morning!

Sweet, tiny, colicky, baby Jesus…Why am I awake? Gah. Bean woke up at 2:30 to pee and I’ve been wide-eyed since then. I’m not bitching about having 4 hours of sleep though. That’s much better than no sleep because Bean is beside me trying to pet the skin off of the soft part of my arm. She is finally sleeping in her own bed! She wakes up once, maybe twice, a night to potty and then goes right back to bed.


Awhile back, we took the crib/toddler bed out of her room and put our old bed in its place. Tried to get her to sleep in there for months but she’d wake up all night long. We were lucky to get a solid 90 minutes without her waking up losing her shit. We wouldn’t have minded her sleeping with us if she’d let us sleep. Instead she’d spend all night rubbing or pinching us in her sleep and if the blanket wasn’t arranged just right then she’d scream about that. We noticed if she was asleep by herself in our room that she wouldn’t wake up. Our old bed felt like sleeping on a sack of potatoes so I thought maybe she’d sleep better in there if the mattress was more comfortable. Put a mattress topper on it and voila! Bean is happy with her bed. Little diva.

Friday was the last day of school for her and they had a play day. Pony rides, bounce houses, snow cones, and sprinklers. She was giving me the thumbs up because she was excited to get to play in the water at school.

Last day of school!

See her polished toes? Black glitter. I have a nail polish collection that’s ridiculous and the only colors she likes are black and a pink so pale that you can’t see it. I’m thinking of polishing her nails something colorful while she’s asleep and telling her that Tiny Dog did it for her.

We made it to Oklahoma and back without incident. The worst rain in forever has been going on there and it rained the whole time we were there. There was a window of a few hours where it wasn’t and we were able to go to the cemetery and clean up Mom’s plot. The house sale hasn’t been completed yet so I was able to check out the house. Lintball cleaned it out. Even took all of the appliances. The only thing left was a box in the shed with all of the cards that him and Mom got at their wedding. I was pissed off that he couldn’t be bothered to throw it away himself. I was greeted with a family of spiders in the box and was very tempted to send the box, spider family and all, to him in the mail.

Sweety started a new job Friday! Not in management. He’s being an ant and likes it so far. He said it’s nice to clock out and not have to think about work any more or deal with phone calls or business after hours. Hopefully, after he’s been there awhile and knows more about the place, they’ll have a management opening that he can get into though. Both of us are a little calmer now. With the new job and what we have saved, we will be okay for a little while. The person who hired him almost didn’t. Told Sweety he was overqualified and that he couldn’t believe that he was going to give Sweety a chance and hire him for the position. At the end of his first shift, the guy asked Sweety if he noticed anything they could do to make the warehouse run better. Sweety told him to give him a few days to check the place out more.

I feel really guilty that I’m not working now even though Sweety says he likes me being at home and able to hang out with the Bean. Sweety lost his mind the summer of 2012 and I was sitting at work worried that he was going to off himself and everyone around him and when Mom died it was too much and I basically stayed in bed for months. Now that I’m feeling betterish, I’m thinking that I should have just sucked it up and stayed at work. Too late now.