This is Oliver .5 seconds after I screamed really loud to wake him up. He gets all buried up and then bumbles around when I scare him. It never gets old.
Here he is fighting for his blankie. We’ll wrap his toy in the blanket and then he’ll find it. If he can’t get to it easily then he will just chew through the blanket to get the toy.
I turned around to this. Sometimes Sweety scares me.
I think Oliver may have a giant streak of asshole. He spent a couple of weeks wooing us with his mad fetching skills and his pottying outside – but now? I think we’re fixing to have a doggy showdown. Tiny Dog has enjoyed her position on the throne as Alpha Dog for 5 years now and he is getting ready to knock her ass rolling off of it.
He’s started running in to steal Stinky Dog’s food. The barking. For the love of Pete, the barking. If I don’t do what he’s wanting RIGHT NOW then the barking starts. And after about 15 seconds Stinky Dog joins. Then you hear Tiny Dog screaming. It’s like they’re all in my head.
I’m trying to be sneakier about feeding them. If they know I’m feeding them then it’s 10 minutes from start to finish with the barking. If I sneak out of bed in the morning I can get a headstart on them. Then when I come home at night I tiptoe around to fill their bowls before they realize that I’m home.
Helps keep my eardrums intact.
But if we’re keeping score – Tiny is Alpha. For now.
Maybe I needed to barf that last post out because I woke up yesterday feeling okay for the first time in a long time. To make it better – I got off work early! It was slow so they were letting people off if they wanted.
I took the opportunity to go back to my doctor’s office to get the fucking cough that’s been around since August tended to. He gave me something that will hopefully stop the coughing (He said it might take a few days to work. whatever. I’m not hopeful.) and I’m going to get a chest x-ray and scan of my sinus cavity. I told him that I didn’t think I’d ever poked a bean in there but maybe I had and it was festering and making me sick. I really hope they see something with all of this. Because if they don’t then I think I will cough forever.
And I stayed home today. *cough* *cough* I’m cleaning a little and realized that the vacuum is gone. Do you know how often I actively seek out the vacuum cleaner? Like once in a blue moon. I’m guessing that Sweety took it to work with him to clean up there.
Oh people, I almost wigged out on the boys yesterday. I got home an hour early. Sweety wasn’t home. (The boys had to walk home from school a couple of days this week because he couldn’t get off in time to pick them up.) BB is in the front yard playing basketball (um, how many times have I told them to stay inside the freaking house if they’re home alone?!) and LB is there with him, shoeless. (I have a big problem with them running around shoeless. This stems from the numerous times they’ve come home from the coaew’s house with cuts on their feet or other things that they’re bitching about that could have been prevented with foot coverings.)
I feel bad that they’ve been home alone and instead of cooking ask what they want. Taco Bell. We load up in the car and during the drive it comes up that they have not let the dogs out to potty since they’ve been home from school. I was immediately so pissed off that I wanted to kick them out of my car and let them walk the last few blocks home. So you played video games in my bedroom while Stinky & Tiny howled their heads off in the adjoining bathroom and Oliver pranced at your feet? Poor Stinky Dog completely messed her bed and it’s been disinfecting all night.
For crying out fucking loud. I had no idea that I needed to tell them to let the dogs out when they came home from school. They know that they should do that!
They are going to be here this weekend and I knew if I freaked the fuck out that it would make the whole weekend shit. So I’m sweeping it under the rug. This weekend I am getting a dry erase marker and writing the things that I want them to do every day after school on the icebox. They will probably get more chores than they would have yesterday morning because I’m still pissed about them ignoring the dogs.
Tonight I’m going to put on my glitter eyeshadow and ride with Sweety to the bowling alley where I will probably drink a lot and subject everyone to my music on the jukebox. I’m beyond ready!
The reason I’m able to wear my glitter eyeshadow? I’ve been thinking for two weeks that I lost my whole makeup box but noticed it when I was taking the above photo of Oliver. I’d just stashed it away for some odd reason.
We have yet to find a conventional dog toy that Oliver can’t destroy in an hour. It is very surprising to me that he doesn’t chew random things in the house like chair legs or bedspreads. We leave him in our bedroom during the day and he hasn’t ruined anything in there. He knows when something shows up in his bed though that it’s his for the taking.
The only thing that has lasted so far is a racquetball. It took him 10 days to finally gnaw through it. Luckily, they come in cans of three.
When I come home from work to barking dogs and LB is yelling at the barking dogs – I want to stab myself in the head. Repeatedly. I literally had to bite my tongue to not shriek, “Whatthefuckareyoudoing? DoyounotHEARYOURSELF?!” About that time, Sweety walked up and mentioned that I looked on edge and proceeded to give me a shoulder rub. I was so tense that it made me scream. Not a good kind of scream either.
Oliver? The best dog ever? Who has only been with us for nine days? Has already learned to ring the bell that is hanging from the doorknob with his nose when he needs to go potty. Perhaps Stinky and Tiny will follow his lead. Highly unlikely. AND he will roll over on command and when you give a short whistle he’ll flop onto his back to show you his belly. He is made of awesome.
I nibbled off all of my nails today at work. It gave me something to do and by the time I was done almost 2 hours had passed. Maybe tomorrow I will pluck my eyebrows off to help pass the time.
Something I like? Getting a nice email from someone saying that they liked my photos and they did NOT include a photo of their penis or mention whacking off. Very civilized.
