When I come home from work to barking dogs and LB is yelling at the barking dogs – I want to stab myself in the head. Repeatedly. I literally had to bite my tongue to not shriek, “Whatthefuckareyoudoing? DoyounotHEARYOURSELF?!” About that time, Sweety walked up and mentioned that I looked on edge and proceeded to give me a shoulder rub. I was so tense that it made me scream. Not a good kind of scream either.

Oliver? The best dog ever? Who has only been with us for nine days? Has already learned to ring the bell that is hanging from the doorknob with his nose when he needs to go potty. Perhaps Stinky and Tiny will follow his lead. Highly unlikely. AND he will roll over on command and when you give a short whistle he’ll flop onto his back to show you his belly. He is made of awesome.

I nibbled off all of my nails today at work. It gave me something to do and by the time I was done almost 2 hours had passed. Maybe tomorrow I will pluck my eyebrows off to help pass the time.

Something I like? Getting a nice email from someone saying that they liked my photos and they did NOT include a photo of their penis or mention whacking off. Very civilized.

18 Comments | In: canines, randomness, sprogs | | #

I thought I’d go ahead and put this photo up here. It was up for about 20 minutes Thursday night because I’d forgotten that I’d scheduled it for HNT and then I put another one up. I thought that I took it down before anyone noticed but I see that hits keep coming in from people looking for that page. So, here it is! If you big it, you can see the bits of cheese that were clinging to Tiny Dog’s face. It’s not easy to make her be calm but the promise of cheese does that quite nicely. She’s an official Cheese Whore. She actually choked on some when she snatched the whole fucking block out of Bekah’s hand. We fished it out of her throat and Bekah hung onto that slimy thing to tempt Tiny Dog with it. Bekah’s a trooper. I won’t touch food that my dogs have slimed on.

It’s been cold here, people. I saw ice on the ground the other morning and gave it a few kicks while trying to figure out what the hell it was because I hadn’t seen ice outside in over 8 years. At first, I thought they were some sort of clear berries on the grass.

There is a chance of snow flurries here this weekend. WTF? I bitch all the damned time about how hot it is and now that it’s cold I don’t have any climate appropriate clothing. I’m just walking around freezing and angry. It will pass soon enough.

The pants that I’ve been wearing to work for the past few years blew out on me Thursday. I spent all day waddling around with my jacket yanked down to hide my pink panties that were glaring through the rip in the seat. Time to go get a new pair of pants for my “work uniform”. Work uniform consists of a pair of khakis and 4 striped shirts that I rotate through. I don’t give a damn what I look like at the salt mine. As long as I don’t stink I don’t think anyone should care about my lack of fashion.

Speaking of work! I have all my vacation time squared away for the year! We’re going to Las Vegas for a week, Reno for a weekend (Sweety has to bowl there) and then my trip home in the summer. I. Can’t. Wait. I keep touching the days that are marked off on the calendar when I’m at work to remind myself that there are good things coming that will get me out of there for awhile.

Oliver continues to delight us. Tiny Dog woke up at around 4 the other morning and seemed to realize that he was a permanent houseguest and proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs for 3 hours. I’d go into the bathroom to see if she wanted to go outside and she’d roll onto her back and show me her belly while trying to be cute.

Part of me wanted to shove my foot into her soft belly and wear her as a slipper to keep one foot warm while I took the other dogs outside.

15 Comments | In: canines, daily blah, hnt | | #

Sweety and I decided around 1 o’clock today that we needed to get out of the house to avoid becoming one with the couch. We had no destination. Just needed to get out. We go find some lunch and afterwards he asks me where I’d like to go.

To the kill shelter!

He has never agreed to go before when I asked. Today he did. We weren’t looking for a new pet. I just wanted an excuse to cry.

This was the first little guy we laid eyes on.

He’s about 5 years old and still acts like a puppy. He’ll fetch a tennis ball and put it down at your feet when you tell him to drop it! He’s housebroken! And, most importantly, Tiny Dog did NOT explode into a ball of doggy fury when she met him. All three of the dogs have done the butt-sniff thing and there hasn’t been any biting yet. They all squirmed around together on the carpet for some petting and have all retreated to their own corners to sleep.

I am so pleased.

He has a blister or boil on his toe and it looks like he’d had some sort of skin problem in the past because the fur on his backside is patchy. We will get those things squared away when I take him to our vet on Wednesday.

And I have to say a huge, “Thank you!” to Sweety. I have a lot of pull around here but he could have vetoed Oliver. Sweety is also going to brave the pet store tomorrow to get the cat, Girl, vaccinated for rabies. Um, we’re really bad pet owners because she has never been vaccinated. When she started hanging around years ago, Sweety trapped her and had her spayed but other than that we never fooled with her because she was too antsy.

In order to have Oliver, we have to get her vaccinated. So Sweety is going to wrangle her into a cage tomorrow and stand in line at a shot clinic to get her taken care of. Hopefully, she will not unleash her claws of fury and slash everyone to death. If she doesn’t kill innocent people tomorrow, I promise to be a responsible pet owner and get her vaccinated on a regular basis.

32 Comments | In: canines | | #

We think Stinky Dog will live a bit longer. I was so freaked out about her on Monday morning that Sweety took her to the vet that afternoon. The vet gave her a physical and said she seems healthy but is just getting old. He gave her a B12 shot and by that evening she was good as new. (He did say it might wear off in 2-3 days and she could turn back into a shivering lethargic mess but I feel like she’ll be okay.) I think it was several things at once that led to her spazz out – having a bath, being washed with a new soap (maybe she was allergic?), doing a u-turn in the tub and pulling something in her neck and not having enough to eat. She’s turned into an extremely picky eater and I was of the mind “she’ll eat when she’s good and hungry!” Guess not. I realize I’ll have to mix her dry food with wet food twice a day or else she won’t eat it. Stubborn bitch.

Tiny Dog was guarding Stinky in full attack mode Monday morning. It seemed like she knew something was wrong and was snapping at Sweety when he tried to pet Stinky. Either she was feeling protective of her or she knew Stinky was at Death’s door and wanted first dibs on eating her body.

14 Comments | In: canines | | #

Maybe Chickie shouldn’t leave her wordpress info signed into her computer whilst she wanders away and leaves her house guests free to sign in and post a blog.

And now you all know my evil plan: I’m stealing Tiny Dog.

Psssst… Chickie has no idea, please don’t tell her, kthanx.

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

-bekah

7 Comments | In: Tiny Dog, canines | | #

After a night at the coal mine, the girls like to wallow in sunshine.

They start off like this…

And work their way over to this…

In other exciting news – I got Sweety to agree to let Tiny Dog sleep in the bed with me as long as I tamp down the baby bug! I’m going to put him to the test tonight!

13 Comments | In: canines | | #