My job makes me want to poke bamboo shoots under my fingernails but at least I have a job. I get plenty of paid time off and health insurance. The insurance is the main thing that keeps me there. If Sweety were to carry the boys and I on his insurance plan, it would cost 3 or 4 times as much as what we pay now under my plan. I work inside. I can surf the internet at work to read the news and whatnot. I know what the fuck I’m doing so I’m left mostly alone. That is a good thing.

Living in Florida. Well, I hate the weather but we are close to all sorts of fun things. It’s been neat to take the kids to theme parks and different places. When my sister and her family were down last week, I let LB miss a day of school and we went to Kennedy Space Center. He’d never been before and he’s pulling all As in school so I didn’t think it would kill him to miss a day. BB is not doing as well with this grades so he didn’t get to go. (And he’d been to the place before on a school field trip.) He was bummed about it but he understood why he didn’t get to miss school.

Now that I have a GPS, I can always find my way home if I get turned around in this stinking town. That is nice. I do not like being lost. Um, sometimes though? I forget that I have a GPS and drive around aimlessly, looking for something familiar. I think my brain cells are dying quicker than they should.

This concludes my personal pep talk.

That’s me.

Sweety has asked me what do I like anymore. What am I excited about? There isn’t anything. I just want to be left alone in the dark.

I feel like I don’t have any right to grouch about anything because so many people have it worse. Despite how much I loooooooathe my job at least I have it.

The contest at work? My team won. We were in the lead up until the second to last day. All month long, I did not boast about it or give the other team captain a hard time. But ohmyfuckingword, the one day that her team was in the lead? Crow, fucking crow. I really didn’t give a damn if my team won or not. She was so sure that her team had won and when it was announced that they did not the whining started. (I decided to give my team all a gift certificate to the cafe at work for their prize. I think I’m going to crank out the prize that Sweety suggested of wings and beer for this month’s prize. Because it was decided we’d have the same fucking contest again this month. Yee-haw.) Her team had to take more phone calls…surely the numbers hadn’t been calculated properly….blahblahblah.

She’d made little comments about how I “bribed” my team with candy and a prize. So. The. Fuck. What? Everytime one of her people sold a doohickey she’d do this squealing congratulations. Not me. I told my people to just please sell and I’d do something nice for them if we won. But that I wasn’t going to pat their backs all the time because I can’t multitask like that. I have to pay attention to the customer on my phone when I’m working.

We were in a meeting yesterday and she was taking it upon herself to try and volunteer me to our supervisor for various things. It took all I had to not tell her to shut the fuck up. That would probably get me canned. Her voice makes me want to stab my eardrums out. I want to punch her in the head. Sweety said that he will pay once to bail me out of jail as long as it isn’t a felony charge because those cost too much. I’m thinking about it.

Other than that, all is well.

People, if I do NOT get written up at work tomorrow – I swear I’ll be a model worker ant. Yesterday my supervisor was gone. A wall separates my desk from hers. I had just got off the phone with a wonderful customer and I hissed something along the lines of ‘aaagh! get off my phone, idiot!’. I did not know that another supervisor had decided to sit at her desk that day. Said supervisor came around the wall to cubeville and told me that he’d been having a really good day til about 30 seconds ago and pointed out that my bad mood could ruin my coworkers’ moods and that it would be at least 30 minutes before he was happy again. He said it in what I’m sure he thought was a friendly way but really? I’d have much rather he called me over to his desk and shoved bamboo shoots under my fingernails while privately telling me to shut the fuck up.

After he left, all of my podmates were agog (because honestly? we all have that attitude and say those things and I’m really happy he just heard me say ‘idiot’ instead of ‘flaming twatwad’) and said they loved my bad attitude and that it made them laugh. Some people started whispering ‘idiot’ to their phones after calls.

Sweety said this was proof that my bad attitude does affect others and that the supervisor was right. I say I’m not bringing anyone else down – we are all already down. We are commiserating. I’m just really hoping that this doesn’t get back to my supervisor and result in a write-up. They’ve been write-up happy and I haven’t gotten one yet. I’m about due.

The boys and I went to Sea World today. We got there and found out that our passes weren’t valid. Back in the summer, Sweety’s debit card number was stolen and replaced and we forgot to let Sea World know for their automatic billing so they were canceled. We fell back to plan B and went to Downtown Disney to watch a movie and eat lunch. (I had a gift card! Yay!) This was in the entryway to the men’s restroom at the restaurant…

Does this look like a giant sparkly penis or what?

Things previously posted about have come to fruition. How am I dealing with it? Well, for a few weeks, I just didn’t do it. Then I realized that no matter what I say, I really can’t afford to get canned. Not being one to halfway do shit – I’m doing my best to just do it.

Thank you, Xanax. Without you, I am nothing. (Really. Nothing. Because those things make me want to eat. I ran out of food at work the other day and ate a pencil sharpener and a pad of post-it notes. True story.) I only eat them on workdays and Sweety hates it. But they keep me from crying at work. It freaks him out when I come home and am emotionless. He prefers cunty-goodness-Anna to blahed-the-fuck-out-Anna. He’s crazy.

To divert us from me becoming a pillhead at work (Oh! A friend at work got fired/quit on Friday! My workday has gotten even shittier. I did not know that was even possible!) or biting family members’ heads off in my spare time – here is some doggy goodness.

This is Stinky Dog loving some dog ice cream. I didn’t know she’d eat something cold but since she enjoys it, I’m going to start freezing some broth for her. Notice the hint of tongue? I am a huge fan of peeks of dog tongue. It’s like it’s something that you aren’t supposed to see.

And here is Tiny Dog being a little asshole. She wasn’t too fond of the ice cream but she didn’t eat it until Stinky finished hers and came sniffing around. Then she just gobbled it down. No licking. I bet that bitch got one hell of a brain freeze.

This is her little snaggletooth. Sweety says we should put a brace on it to straighten it out but I think it adds character.

Sweety & the boys put in a little garden and Sweety painted for me! We’ve got a couple of walls in Cherry Tart and some in Navajo White. I’d originally picked out Frosted Pomegranate but it wasn’t what we were looking for when we tested it out. Sweety was kind enough to take the painting we have that has the red I wanted to the store with him to match it for the second try. I will show it to you when we’re all done and decorated.

BB had a baseball game Monday night. The boys were supposed to go home with their mother but she sent LB over about an hour into it to ask Sweety if they could go home with us. She needed to go home right away and let her husband into the house because he’d locked himself out. Puh-leez. What a crock of shit. You wouldn’t believe how many car repairs and other “emergencies” come up with her during baseball season. (Each vehicle they have has had at least one broken axle and all sorts of tire and brake issues. I just don’t buy it because it just seems very odd that these things only crop up on weekends that the boys are at her house & there’s a game.)

You want to leave the game early, just say it. Don’t make up some bullshit excuse. We know it was crap because she didn’t want to take LB home with her. Other times when she’s left early, he goes with her (since it is her night and she misses him so much) but not Monday. The icing on the cake was that she didn’t even go to the dugout and tell BB that she was leaving. We heard him hollering at LB later, “Hey! Where’s mom?” Stupid bint.

I kind of flipped out at work yesterday. My first call ended up being 30 minutes of misery and I started to cry about 25 minutes into it. I made a beeline for the bathroom after I hung up and ran smack into my bosses boss. He wanted to know if I was okay. I looked up (Well, down. He’s a shorty. But I had to raise my head.) at him with snot streaming and leaky eyes and said, “sure!”. So he asked again and I gave the same reply. But really. Of course fucking not. Dude, it’s 9:30 in the morning and I’m ugly crying at work. How the hell can I be okay? It took a good 15 minutes to calm down in the bathroom.

When I got home last night, Sweety thought I’d either been eating Xanax all day (No, not even one. I’d left the little bits of sweetness at home because I hadn’t forseen a total meltdown at work.) or had been drinking because I seemed so out of it. Nope. That was just me totally defeated.

I hopped in the pool today and got some sun on my ghostly ass. My reason for wanting a tan? It doesn’t show as bad when I go without shaving my legs. When I’m all pale you can really notice that it needs to be done. Also got my eyebrows threaded and ate Korean food for lunch. Tomorrow I will take over the world!

Do you ever volunteer for something and then wonder why you did that? The school just called and needs people to work at the book fair next week. Instead of just agreeing to the 2 hours that I could have, I said I’d stay til it closed when she mentioned they were short on people. At least it’s inside and with books. My two favorite things.

So if you became your friend, she watched your back and totally despised anyone that wished ill will upon you.

One day, Crackhead came up to Girl and wanted to gossip about Girl’s friend. Crackhead didn’t know that Girl had a Friend because she was so quiet. Girl put Crackhead in her place and Crackhead moseyed on back to her corner of the circle.

But Crackhead continued to do shitty things to Friend for no reason. Lies are not nice.

And one day? One shiny day? Crackhead got called on it and got written up by Higher Ups.

This made Girl smile with her sharp little teeth.

Today was the best. day. ever.

The End.

An asshole seller on eBay has burned me. I won an auction for a camera about a month ago and it was never sent to me. PayPal did give my money back. That was nice. But I really wanted the camera. On the same night that I won the camera, I bought a lens for it from an online store. The time frame to return it passed while I was still waiting for the camera to arrive. I sold the lens on eBay this weekend. I give up. I’m not ready to pay the retail price for a big boy camera. Meh. The dogs’ retinas thank me.

Sweety tried to fix our t.v. awhile back and it didn’t work. For the last month, we’ve watched a television that makes a sound like a plane taking off and the color on it was almost black and white. Unbeknownst to me, when we were out and about on Saturday, Sweety bought a new t.v. Brought it home last night, hooked it up, and voila! The color was still off. After much poking and prodding, we realized that some things weren’t plugged in properly at the cable box. But now we have a new t.v. And another giant t.v. that probably will work after buying a $100 part and making sure that it’s plugged in correctly. I don’t know what in the hell we’re going to do with that one. I think we should just take the new one back and try to fix the old one again but I have a feeling that my idea will not be met with open arms by the menfolk of the house.

Do you pass the hat at your job to get a gift for your boss at Christmas? I’ve been at this hellhole place of employment for 7 years now and have never been on a team where the people did that. Until this year. I didn’t get a stinking, fucking turkey sandwich when I worked on Thanksgiving but you people want me to contribute to the “buy the supervisor that makes more money than us – Oh! By the way! No more raises til the economy picks up!” fund? I’m seriously thinking of checking my name off the list when the envelope comes around but not putting any money in it. I stuck $10 in the envelope that came around yesterday for the lady on our team that is always baking cakes and bringing them in though. I like cake. I’m not a total tightwad. I like to prioritize.

We’ve put up more Christmas decorations and our anal neighbor is spinning out of control. Colored lights! Oh no! All we have up are a row of lights around the edge of the roof, a snowman and 3 things that you poke in the ground (they look like tree limbs with lights on them). After the addition of the tree limb things, he stood at the end of his driveway, looking at our house and shaking his head for a good 10 minutes, I kid you not. I spied on him through the kitchen window. When I was tired of spying, I opened the blinds and he scurried away. I REALLY like the tree limb things. I’d like to buy more and keep them up around the perimeter of the house year round. To keep dragons away. Heck, I’d even leave the snowman up. He is so cheery.

Reading this and then the crappy follow up by the school over at Kat’s place really made my blood boil. I would go apeshit if one of the boys came home and told me that school personnel denied them access to a regular lunch. Utter bullshit.

I’m leaning heavily towards never birthing any kids, but if I were – I’d wait til Sweety and I were able to move away from here and go back to where I grew up. I wouldn’t want to stick kids in the school system down here. It’s just too big.

When you were a kid, did you like school lunches? I can honestly say that ours were great. It probably helped that our school only had about 175 kids in grades K – 12 and that someone’s mom was usually one of the cafeteria cooks. If you were still hungry and there was food left, you could go back for seconds. There were some kids that I went to school with that were flat malnourished and the teachers would come around and if it looked like you weren’t going to eat your hamburger, they’d ask if it was okay to give it to them. I don’t even think kids are allowed to share food in the cafeteria nowadays. Man, they made the best spaghetti. Good spaghetti with a layer of melted cheese on top. With garlic toast and green beans for the side. And the pinto beans? Help me, that is where my love for pinto beans and cornbread started. With a splash of Louisiana Hot Sauce. Mmmmm…

When I was a kid, we qualified for free lunches. When I was in kindergarten, I remember watching all of the other kids take lunch money to the teacher every day and I started to worry that I was stealing food since I never paid. So I went home and gathered all the change I could find (I stuck it in my coin purse that looked like a purple hippo) and gave it to my teacher the next morning. She looked at me like I was crazy and quietly told me that it was okay and to put the money back in my pocket and sit down.

We always had enough food to eat when I was growing up but there wasn’t really any money for extras. I can still remember how embarrassed and pissed off I was when, while swinging on the swings one day, some little snots came up and started making fun of my pants because they were ugly. (As a result, my kids now are not allowed to wear Rustler jeans from Wal-Mart. BB actually asked for some a few weeks ago and I pointed him towards something else.)

New clothes? When I was in the 4th grade I got a new shirt and I loved it. It was pink with short, white, lacy sleeves. (I even had my school picture that year taken in it.) I’d have Mom wash that shirt and wear it damn near every day. Well, every day til some snooty heifer a couple of years older than me started making fun of me for wearing it so much. (She’s not one of my MySpace friends today. Fuck her.) I’m still like that though. When I get a new t-shirt, that bitch is going to be worn for at least the next 4 times that I leave the house. Old habits die hard.

My chiropractor rocks. My left flipper has been pretty useless since last Wednesday. If I moved it or straightened it out, it hurt like hell and the rest of the time is was a screaming throb. I’d been holding it up near my body kind of like a Tyrannosaurus Rex to keep the pain down. (and I was really making a face like that too) I left work early Friday because I thought I’d swing by his office and get things fixed but they were closed. Left early today (after making an appointment) and now am much better. I’m looking forward to sleep tonight that isn’t interrupted every time I move because it feels like someone is stabbing me.

We went to a big car show in Orlando on Sunday and I actually wore my arm in a freaking sling because it kept it from hurting so badly. I looked like the biggest dork on the planet. LB delighted in following me and taking my photo when I wasn’t looking.

The stairwell at work smells funny. Like a douche. Not a strawberry one. A pickle one. I hold my breath when I’m in there. It is disgusting.

Oh! Speaking of that place! I won a trip to a theme park and am going there on Thursday! A paid day at a theme park! Of course, I will have to do whatever I’m told (everyone picked from work has to go as a group) and will have to make idle chit-chat with people but anything is better than answering the phone in Cubeville for 10 hours. I think…

You know what I have discovered on eBay? Tiny paintings and drawings. ACEO cards. I am addicted. Sweety says it’s better for me than heroin. See this little Mouse Fairy? I will be sitting by the computer, ready to snipe that cute little sucker at 5 p.m. on Saturday! It will be the perfect match for my Bunny Fairy. (I managed to snipe that original painting when it was up for auction.) Wootie woot! I am an eBay ninja.

This photo shows you what was on the wall. That blue heart border. White on top and tan on bottom. It was here when I moved in and I just wasn’t motivated enough to yank it down.

But Sweety did it for me on Friday night! And he said he doesn’t care how I decorate the living room. I immediately began a booze fueled hunt on eBay for things to put on the walls. This and this arrived today! They are 8×10 and on canvas. I’ll get them framed up soon. And? I have two paintings on the way featuring (drumroll please!)…..WOMBATS! I know you know how much I LOVE WOMBATS. I am most excited.

We always do our Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday because the boys are at their mother’s on Thursday. We’ve finished dinner and the kitchen is clean. The dishwasher is singing merrily. Tiny Dog and Stinky Dog are snoring with bellies full of mashed potatoes and peas. Have you ever seen a dog eat a plate full of green peas? Hilarious. They kept falling out of Stinky’s mouth and Tiny sucked them up one at a time as they fell out.

I have to freaking work tomorrow because I didn’t request Thanksgiving day off properly in our computer system. Meh. It all works out though because I’m taking that holiday time off on December 23 and my Mom and stepdad will be here then! Fantastical Sweety bought their plane tickets so they could come down! They’ll be here from the 21st through the 28th. I can’t wait! I can’t remember the last time I had a Christmas with my Mom.

Speaking of work…

I don’t like having something shoved down my throat. Sure, it’s nice if someone wants to do a payroll deduction and donate money to a charity. But don’t tell me that it’s sad how selfish people are because they’re not doing that. You don’t know me. You don’t have any idea what I do with my money away from work. On top of that, it’s none of your business. Leave me alone. Dare I say – fuck you?

Ahem. So maybe that’s not the nicest thing to say this time of year when we should all be thankful and sharing. I’m really tired of hearing this though. I actually used to donate to a charity through a payroll deduction but canceled it a couple of years ago after having to attend meetings that were to drum up more donations. It really pissed me off how higher-ups were pushing for them. I decided I’d rather hang on to my money and do something nice for someone when I run across the opportunity.

The turkey coma is descending. It is time to snuggle up on the couch with Stinky and Tiny for a nappy-poo. Nappy-poo? I really just typed that, huh? Nappy-poo.

I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving!