It’s nice that I don’t have to deal with the coaew on any sort of personal level. I know some stepmothers have to actually speak to their husband’s exs and I am so glad that I do not. It’s nice that Sweety has always handled everything with her. I’ve never dialed her phone number and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have mine. I had to speak to the heifer (See how I called her “heifer” instead of “flaming twatwad” as was my first instinct? I’m trying to be kinder.) for about 30 seconds this weekend in passing (she butted into a conversation I was having with LB) and my head almost exploded. There’s no way I could have a productive conversation with her without needing to take a nap afterwards. And luckily – I don’t have to.

My job makes me want to poke bamboo shoots under my fingernails but at least I have a job. I get plenty of paid time off and health insurance. The insurance is the main thing that keeps me there. If Sweety were to carry the boys and I on his insurance plan, it would cost 3 or 4 times as much as what we pay now under my plan. I work inside. I can surf the internet at work to read the news and whatnot. I know what the fuck I’m doing so I’m left mostly alone. That is a good thing.

Living in Florida. Well, I hate the weather but we are close to all sorts of fun things. It’s been neat to take the kids to theme parks and different places. When my sister and her family were down last week, I let LB miss a day of school and we went to Kennedy Space Center. He’d never been before and he’s pulling all As in school so I didn’t think it would kill him to miss a day. BB is not doing as well with this grades so he didn’t get to go. (And he’d been to the place before on a school field trip.) He was bummed about it but he understood why he didn’t get to miss school.

Now that I have a GPS, I can always find my way home if I get turned around in this stinking town. That is nice. I do not like being lost. Um, sometimes though? I forget that I have a GPS and drive around aimlessly, looking for something familiar. I think my brain cells are dying quicker than they should.

This concludes my personal pep talk.

16 Comments | In: can't find my way out of a paper bag, coaew, cube farm, excuse me while i scream | | #

I am blahed out. Go read Jeni’s post and then come back.

That’s me.

Sweety has asked me what do I like anymore. What am I excited about? There isn’t anything. I just want to be left alone in the dark.

I feel like I don’t have any right to grouch about anything because so many people have it worse. Despite how much I loooooooathe my job at least I have it.

The contest at work? My team won. We were in the lead up until the second to last day. All month long, I did not boast about it or give the other team captain a hard time. But ohmyfuckingword, the one day that her team was in the lead? Crow, fucking crow. I really didn’t give a damn if my team won or not. She was so sure that her team had won and when it was announced that they did not the whining started. (I decided to give my team all a gift certificate to the cafe at work for their prize. I think I’m going to crank out the prize that Sweety suggested of wings and beer for this month’s prize. Because it was decided we’d have the same fucking contest again this month. Yee-haw.) Her team had to take more phone calls…surely the numbers hadn’t been calculated properly….blahblahblah.

She’d made little comments about how I “bribed” my team with candy and a prize. So. The. Fuck. What? Everytime one of her people sold a doohickey she’d do this squealing congratulations. Not me. I told my people to just please sell and I’d do something nice for them if we won. But that I wasn’t going to pat their backs all the time because I can’t multitask like that. I have to pay attention to the customer on my phone when I’m working.

We were in a meeting yesterday and she was taking it upon herself to try and volunteer me to our supervisor for various things. It took all I had to not tell her to shut the fuck up. That would probably get me canned. Her voice makes me want to stab my eardrums out. I want to punch her in the head. Sweety said that he will pay once to bail me out of jail as long as it isn’t a felony charge because those cost too much. I’m thinking about it.

23 Comments | In: cube farm, excuse me while i scream, grouching | | #

I went to the doctor two weeks ago and discovered that my new blood pressure medication was the source of my constant cough. Seems I’m allergic to it. Lovely. Been advised it might take a month or so forever to go away. And my cholesterol level is too high so there is now a list of foods that I am to never eat again. Basically anything meaty and tasty. Except chicken. Yard rats. Yum. Double lovely!

Other than that, all is well.

People, if I do NOT get written up at work tomorrow – I swear I’ll be a model worker ant. Yesterday my supervisor was gone. A wall separates my desk from hers. I had just got off the phone with a wonderful customer and I hissed something along the lines of ‘aaagh! get off my phone, idiot!’. I did not know that another supervisor had decided to sit at her desk that day. Said supervisor came around the wall to cubeville and told me that he’d been having a really good day til about 30 seconds ago and pointed out that my bad mood could ruin my coworkers’ moods and that it would be at least 30 minutes before he was happy again. He said it in what I’m sure he thought was a friendly way but really? I’d have much rather he called me over to his desk and shoved bamboo shoots under my fingernails while privately telling me to shut the fuck up.

After he left, all of my podmates were agog (because honestly? we all have that attitude and say those things and I’m really happy he just heard me say ‘idiot’ instead of ‘flaming twatwad’) and said they loved my bad attitude and that it made them laugh. Some people started whispering ‘idiot’ to their phones after calls.

Sweety said this was proof that my bad attitude does affect others and that the supervisor was right. I say I’m not bringing anyone else down – we are all already down. We are commiserating. I’m just really hoping that this doesn’t get back to my supervisor and result in a write-up. They’ve been write-up happy and I haven’t gotten one yet. I’m about due.

The boys and I went to Sea World today. We got there and found out that our passes weren’t valid. Back in the summer, Sweety’s debit card number was stolen and replaced and we forgot to let Sea World know for their automatic billing so they were canceled. We fell back to plan B and went to Downtown Disney to watch a movie and eat lunch. (I had a gift card! Yay!) This was in the entryway to the men’s restroom at the restaurant…

Does this look like a giant sparkly penis or what?

23 Comments | In: cube farm, daily blah | | #

Sweety has mentioned that I’m an extremist. I’m either off or on. Going at whatever 100 mph or hiding under the covers. You could call the terror alert level here at orange as of late.

Things previously posted about have come to fruition. How am I dealing with it? Well, for a few weeks, I just didn’t do it. Then I realized that no matter what I say, I really can’t afford to get canned. Not being one to halfway do shit – I’m doing my best to just do it.

Thank you, Xanax. Without you, I am nothing. (Really. Nothing. Because those things make me want to eat. I ran out of food at work the other day and ate a pencil sharpener and a pad of post-it notes. True story.) I only eat them on workdays and Sweety hates it. But they keep me from crying at work. It freaks him out when I come home and am emotionless. He prefers cunty-goodness-Anna to blahed-the-fuck-out-Anna. He’s crazy.

To divert us from me becoming a pillhead at work (Oh! A friend at work got fired/quit on Friday! My workday has gotten even shittier. I did not know that was even possible!) or biting family members’ heads off in my spare time – here is some doggy goodness.

This is Stinky Dog loving some dog ice cream. I didn’t know she’d eat something cold but since she enjoys it, I’m going to start freezing some broth for her. Notice the hint of tongue? I am a huge fan of peeks of dog tongue. It’s like it’s something that you aren’t supposed to see.

And here is Tiny Dog being a little asshole. She wasn’t too fond of the ice cream but she didn’t eat it until Stinky finished hers and came sniffing around. Then she just gobbled it down. No licking. I bet that bitch got one hell of a brain freeze.

This is her little snaggletooth. Sweety says we should put a brace on it to straighten it out but I think it adds character.

8 Comments | In: canines, cube farm, excuse me while i scream | | #