I guess for awhile some girls had been excluding her from things but it went to a whole new level.

She got some new shoes last week that she loved and wore them to school. She did NOT know (and why would it matter anyway?) that one of the “popular” girls (to be known as BadSeed) in the class had the same shoes. BadSeed and a few of her friends shoved her to the ground on the playground and stomped on her feet until her shoes were dirty while they called her a copycat.

The next day, the teacher gave the class a speech about how everyone should be nice to each other and blah, blah, blah. Sylvie said that kids were nice to her on the playground that one day but now nobody plays with her. As she said, “Aunt Anna, I just don’t have any friends.”

When her parents asked Sylvie why she didn’t fight back, she said it was because she was afraid of being suspended. They told her if she got suspended from school for defending herself that she wouldn’t be in trouble at home. I guess BadSeed was physically picking on Sylvie a few days later so Sylvie said she “slammed BadSeed into the table a few times”. Sylvie has heard the story about how I took a rock to school in my bookbag and used it to whack a kid upside the head – I told her to NOT do anything like that.

Sylvie and her mom were talking and the subject of college came up. Sylvie got a weird look on her face and said, “Mom…what if there’s a grownup version of BadSeed at college?!” Gah. I am so pissed off that I want to drive to Oklahoma and beat up a bunch of little fifth grade bitches.

My sister has started picking Sylvie up from school during lunch and bringing her home so she doesn’t have to wander the playground alone or risk getting ganged up on by a bunch of girls.

She’s kind of a tomboy and prefers to wear sweatpants and converse sneakers to school even though she has lots of nice “girly” clothes and would rather slap a headband on than fix her hair. My sister suggested that maybe if she dressed up a bit and ironed her hair that she would be more approachable to people. Sylvie said if people didn’t want to be her friend because of the pants she had on that she didn’t need them to be her friend any other time. Smart kid.

It still makes me sad. Next year she’ll be going to a new school and I’m hoping that by being around some new kids that she’ll make some friends.

My job makes me want to poke bamboo shoots under my fingernails but at least I have a job. I get plenty of paid time off and health insurance. The insurance is the main thing that keeps me there. If Sweety were to carry the boys and I on his insurance plan, it would cost 3 or 4 times as much as what we pay now under my plan. I work inside. I can surf the internet at work to read the news and whatnot. I know what the fuck I’m doing so I’m left mostly alone. That is a good thing.

Living in Florida. Well, I hate the weather but we are close to all sorts of fun things. It’s been neat to take the kids to theme parks and different places. When my sister and her family were down last week, I let LB miss a day of school and we went to Kennedy Space Center. He’d never been before and he’s pulling all As in school so I didn’t think it would kill him to miss a day. BB is not doing as well with this grades so he didn’t get to go. (And he’d been to the place before on a school field trip.) He was bummed about it but he understood why he didn’t get to miss school.

Now that I have a GPS, I can always find my way home if I get turned around in this stinking town. That is nice. I do not like being lost. Um, sometimes though? I forget that I have a GPS and drive around aimlessly, looking for something familiar. I think my brain cells are dying quicker than they should.

This concludes my personal pep talk.

That’s me.

Sweety has asked me what do I like anymore. What am I excited about? There isn’t anything. I just want to be left alone in the dark.

I feel like I don’t have any right to grouch about anything because so many people have it worse. Despite how much I loooooooathe my job at least I have it.

The contest at work? My team won. We were in the lead up until the second to last day. All month long, I did not boast about it or give the other team captain a hard time. But ohmyfuckingword, the one day that her team was in the lead? Crow, fucking crow. I really didn’t give a damn if my team won or not. She was so sure that her team had won and when it was announced that they did not the whining started. (I decided to give my team all a gift certificate to the cafe at work for their prize. I think I’m going to crank out the prize that Sweety suggested of wings and beer for this month’s prize. Because it was decided we’d have the same fucking contest again this month. Yee-haw.) Her team had to take more phone calls…surely the numbers hadn’t been calculated properly….blahblahblah.

She’d made little comments about how I “bribed” my team with candy and a prize. So. The. Fuck. What? Everytime one of her people sold a doohickey she’d do this squealing congratulations. Not me. I told my people to just please sell and I’d do something nice for them if we won. But that I wasn’t going to pat their backs all the time because I can’t multitask like that. I have to pay attention to the customer on my phone when I’m working.

We were in a meeting yesterday and she was taking it upon herself to try and volunteer me to our supervisor for various things. It took all I had to not tell her to shut the fuck up. That would probably get me canned. Her voice makes me want to stab my eardrums out. I want to punch her in the head. Sweety said that he will pay once to bail me out of jail as long as it isn’t a felony charge because those cost too much. I’m thinking about it.

I decided to give the neighbor’s neglected cat a bath and bought some waterless shampoo. It has the consistency of hair mousse. You’re supposed to rub it on the cat til it’s soaked and then dry it off with a towel. I was going this route because I was afraid he’d have a heart attack if I gave him a real bath.

Came home and sat down outside with him and followed the directions. I have one moussed up cat and I start toweling him off. But it’s just pink stuff coming off on the towel and his hair looks weird. He’s too dirty for this.

I take him inside to gently give him a water bath. Put him in the dry tub and fill a cup with warm water and pour it on him. And it’s pink too when it rinses. What the hell?

I make it my main mission to get his head clean because it is completely black with what I think is dirt. Realize as I’m scrubbing that it isn’t dirt – it’s blood. And HUNDREDS of fleas come pouring out from under his face/head scab as I wash. As he gets completely wet, see that he is totally infested with fleas. It seems they’ve concentrated on his head because he can’t flick them away since he only has one back leg. That’s why he’s so skinny. The fleas are killing him. But I don’t have any flea soap.

He’s all limp in the bottom of the tub and I don’t know what to do. It seems wrong to get him all wet and just give the evil fleas a bath without killing any of them. I want to go to the store for some baby shampoo so I can thoroughly wash his head without hurting his eyes and get some flea shampoo. I’m afraid he will die while I’m gone and I don’t want him to die alone.

So I swaddle him up like a baby and tote him into the store with me to buy the shampoos. I cover his head and nobody notices. I got him home and washed and dried him the best that I could. I wanted to let him stay in the house with me til he dried off but he is still a flea farm. He was just so weak in the tub that I didn’t want to push it.

I went out in the garage and petted on him awhile ago. He’s drying off and started purring. I so hope he doesn’t die. If he makes it, I’ll give him a couple of days and then bathe him again to try and get all of the fleas.

He is so skinny that you can’t poke your pinky between his shoulder blades. That’s how close together they are.

You can tell a lot about people by the way they treat their animals. Sure, your house is all tidy and you act all nice when people are looking…but I KNOW how you are.

Does anyone have a good method of getting rid of cats that doesn’t involve nuking the neighborhood? Our neighbors have a bunch of the hairy bastards and they keep coming into our garage and pissing on everything. And shitting. There is nothing that will make your day more glittery-special than coming home from work and stepping in catshit. We have a cat (Girl) and I love her. I feed her wet food twice a day! I wouldn’t be as upset if it was her shit. But to have it coming from a nasty pissy cat that bullies the hell out of mine is too much.

When I’m home during the day, I leave the garage door cracked a bit so Girl can come and go as she pleases. I’m afraid it’s too hot for her to be outside all day and she doesn’t like being cooped up in the garage with the door closed. The other cats take this as their invitation to completely fuck my place up. They spray my tires! My sweet little car’s shoes have been violated! And the smell? For the love of all that is good and holy, it smells like bad urine in there. (not to be confused with good urine!)

One of them (a 3-legged bastard) actually got trapped in our garage last night when I closed it. My first instinct was to beat his piss-spraying self with a broom but I gave him a chance. I opened the door and yelled at him at the top of my lungs so his owners could hear politely gave him to the count of five to hop on out. He did.

I’ve already decided that I’m going to start collecting the cat turds and depositing them somewhere in the neighbor’s yard on a weekly basis. My first thought was to hurl them into their yard as I found them each day but I decided I wanted to go with the dramatic. A turd here and there? You might miss them. A pile of them decaying by your mailbox? No overlooking that.

It was getting late and she wasn’t there so I called the house. Mom is sobbing and saying that we killed Ernie and she was burying him. He’d gotten hit by a car. It was storming and she was burying him in the rain. I honestly don’t think I’ve had a hand in anything else in my life that made me feel so shitty. To make up for it, I got her a new chihuahua a year later. He was christened Bud Light (with Mom’s Korean accent, it sounds like his name is BudLie. I like that.) and he’s still kicking and is Mom’s baby.

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning thinking about this and couldn’t get it out of my head.

Holy shit. What horribly irresponsible kids we were.

Okay. I need to think happy thoughts so I can go back to sleep.

My normal happy time thoughts involve getting to visit with my family. But when I thought about Mom, I thought about Ernie. When I thought about my niece, I thought about my sister and when I thought about my sister, I thought about how she was party to Ernie’s death. When I thought about Sweety, I thought about the boys and they had just killed Tiny Dog in my imagination. There was nowhere safe to retreat to in my head. This circle of craziness went on for over an hour.

I finally fell asleep and when I woke, the sun burned some of the crazy off of me.

Then I went on a giant Twitter purge (if you haven’t talked back to me when I talked to you in the past few days) and block (if I knew you before this blog was born) and I feel cleansed now. I will now physically phone call more people so they do not feel that they need to follow me on Twitter.

I was a cunt hair away from killing Twitter and the blog.

Did you see the movie The Wrestler? We watched it tonight. I can totally see why it is taken as a good movie. But dammit, I like a happy ending. I would have been pissed off if we’d have paid to see it in the theater. I’m washing away the sadness with Pineapple Express. I’ve already seen it (in the theater!) but I like it. I might watch it AGAIN tonight.

Oh! The Rocker! I’ve got that and Sweety hasn’t enjoyed it properly. I’ll shove that down his throat after this!

…..a lot of time has passed since i wrote that last sentence.

In the meantime…

Tiny Dog bit the hell out of me because I was taunting her with a french fry. Bitch does NOT like her fries to be teases.

We are still watching Pineapple Express. Thank goodness for pause buttons.

Love is letting your Sweety have 2 cheeseburgers when you want one of them.

Love is still loving your Tiny Dog when she won’t eat from your mouth. I thought she’d like a bit of burger and fries since she begged for that shit but she refused. Sweety laughed while she snubbed me. That’s okay. I’ll still sneak her in the bed and sniff her toes.

And here is me 2 weeks ago ish (i fucking hate when people say “ish”, but Sweety does it so I do too.”

Please, pay no attention to my ruffled eyebrows. I wish I could photoshop those fuckers straight.

Things previously posted about have come to fruition. How am I dealing with it? Well, for a few weeks, I just didn’t do it. Then I realized that no matter what I say, I really can’t afford to get canned. Not being one to halfway do shit – I’m doing my best to just do it.

Thank you, Xanax. Without you, I am nothing. (Really. Nothing. Because those things make me want to eat. I ran out of food at work the other day and ate a pencil sharpener and a pad of post-it notes. True story.) I only eat them on workdays and Sweety hates it. But they keep me from crying at work. It freaks him out when I come home and am emotionless. He prefers cunty-goodness-Anna to blahed-the-fuck-out-Anna. He’s crazy.

To divert us from me becoming a pillhead at work (Oh! A friend at work got fired/quit on Friday! My workday has gotten even shittier. I did not know that was even possible!) or biting family members’ heads off in my spare time – here is some doggy goodness.

This is Stinky Dog loving some dog ice cream. I didn’t know she’d eat something cold but since she enjoys it, I’m going to start freezing some broth for her. Notice the hint of tongue? I am a huge fan of peeks of dog tongue. It’s like it’s something that you aren’t supposed to see.

And here is Tiny Dog being a little asshole. She wasn’t too fond of the ice cream but she didn’t eat it until Stinky finished hers and came sniffing around. Then she just gobbled it down. No licking. I bet that bitch got one hell of a brain freeze.

This is her little snaggletooth. Sweety says we should put a brace on it to straighten it out but I think it adds character.

Stinky Dog got the ball rolling by pissing on the carpet. Stinky, it’s a good thing that I love you so much or I’d have kicked a hole in you.

Had to go to the store for milk and stopped to mail my Mother’s Day card. The stamp machine at our rotten little post office was out of order. Surprise, surprise. Was able to buy a book of stamps at the pharmacy. Had no idea until checkout that a book of 12 stamps would be $8.40. Seventy fucking cents a stamp! Fuck you, CVS. Fuck you and your stamp price mark-up in the ass with a dry brick.

Got in my car and the fuel light came on. There’s all kinds of road construction going on and it was an almighty trial to just get into the damned gas station. Then I squirted gas on my foot. I swear, I’d have set myself on fire if I’d have had a lighter.

Decided that maybe NOW was the time to get some prescriptions refilled. But I can’t find them. Great! Now I get to call my doctor to get replacement scripts and he will know how long I’ve gone without taking things and chew my ass out.

And under it all is the reminder that I have to go to work tomorrow and do shit that I absolutely do not agree with. Do it or get fired. I fucking hate this.

The Fury is here for a visit. May I have mercy on everyone.

I heard a lady list all of her ailments (hysterectomy, hernia, gall bladder removal, aching knees…the list goes on!) to every adult that walked through the door. I was ready to poke my eardrums out.

Do you know what I had ready for her every time she told me a sickness snippet? A Tiny Dog tale. Because I know that she had to be as interested in my motherfucking dog as I was in her numerous surgeries.

It was the longest three hours of my life.