I’ve Been Waiting To Do This!


Last night was the first time that I was able to braid Bean’s hair in one braid! We were right out of the shower so it went back pretty nicely. I did it again this morning and it looks kinda wonky but I want her to learn to sit still while I do her hair so it’ll work for today.


Here she is parrotting me. We’ve discovered that there isn’t a word that this kid won’t repeat. We like to come up with off the wall phrases for her to say. This phrase happens to be true.

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses an Eye

Guess what you can fit in Sweety’s nostril?

One Cheez-It.

I could have probably gotten another one in there if he’d have held still. He was too surprised to try and escape for the first one.

I yanked it out and Tiny Dog ate it.

You’re welcome.

Oh. About 3 minutes after typing the above, Sweety started writhing around in agony. It seems that a piece of the cracker broke off and he sniffed it into his sinus cavity. Don’t worry. We got it out and I’ve promised to not poke anything in there ever again. And for what it’s worth – he totally deserved having it stuck up in there in the first place. It’s not like I arbitrarily shoved a cracker in there.

Here. Gratuitous Bean video from the day she really started noticing her feet.

To Whom It May Concern…

Dear Penelope (aka My Wonderful Honda Civvy),

Thank you for having sideview mirrors that fold in when you bump against something. Very handy.

Your Loving Owner


Dear Neighbor’s Mailbox,

Sorry about the bump. Thanks for being so sturdy that instead of breaking you kicked the sideview mirror’s ass.

Your Neighbor Who Will Be More Cautious In The Future


To Any Doctors in the House,

Do you know where I would stab my face to relieve sinus pressure? I’m getting desperate here.

Tired Of Waking Up With An Eye Sealed Shut With Green Goo


Dear Tiny Dog,

I am sincerely glad that you were finally able to make Oliver your bitch.

Well, your bitch for a few seconds anyway. You seem a little mellower since you were able to embarrass him in front of us.

Keep up the good work!


Hey people,

For the love of all that is good and holy – Do NOT do a google image search for “pustule”. Trust me on that one.

But if you’re feeling brave, look up “horse penis cancer”.



Have a wonderful weekend!

What Passes For Fun Around Here

I’m going to tell you all about the awesome trip to Disney and the Insane Clown Posse concert with the girls next door but right now I’m having a hard time stringing sentences together. My train of thought is derailed.

But I had to share this with you.

The scene:

Lightweight drinker Sweety has had 4-5 Woodchuck ciders and is feeling rather buzzed. He starts playing with Oliver and gets too rough. Oliver gets freaked out and I tell Sweety he needs to be nice to Oliver to make up for it. Oliver commences to licking Sweety’s face thoroughly. Sweety wants to move away but I tell him that he has to take it to make up for freaking Oliver out. After about 4 minutes of watching, it occurred to me that I could video it. Ta-Dah!

I’m sorry for the disgustingness at the end. I had no idea he was going to do that. Yes, Oliver ate it.