Wednesday a plumber is coming in to install the sink and tub in their bathroom and this weekend Sweety will do more painting and the next weekend he will put down the wood flooring. Then we will get to the Bean’s room. I’m thinking the house should be pretty much back to normal by mid-October at the latest.

Sweety did something super awesome – he got a truck for me a couple of weeks ago!

To put it mildly, I love it. It has rumbly pipes on it! Yay! And we’ve made good use of it lately by toting all of the stuff home that Sweety needs to redo the house. People have asked where I will put the Bean in it. Either the airbag will be flipped off and I’ll pop her in the front seat or I will just take the car. When I told my niece that I got a truck, she asked where the baby would ride and then laughed so hard that she couldn’t talk.

Wow, it just occurred to me that I look like an evil stepmother. “Here children! You do not deserve carpet but I’m getting a truck! Muahahahahaha!”

We were on our way home from eating breakfast Sunday morning and my stomach started to hurt. Horrible, evil gas pains that were so bad I couldn’t see straight. Sweety could tell that I was in immense discomfort. I was hoping that the pain would just go away and I realized that I was going to have to do something in front of Sweety that I’ve never done in front of him while conscious – pass gas. And what made it worse was that it was something that would peel paint. Sweety looked at me and told me that I had no room to ever criticize Oliver’s farts ever again.

The latest episode of Sweety talking in his sleep? The chorus of “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It”. There’s something kind of creepy about your bedmate bursting into song while you are quietly reading your book in the middle of the night. He sounded like a little kid while singing. It made my hair stand up.

Sweety took me to dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack last night to celebrate. I love the place and Sweety does not so I appreciated him suggesting going there. I ate many delightful little creatures of the sea. We had the birthday dinner yesterday instead of today because today I have work to do.

See this?

That’s approximately 34 ounces of urine that I’ve harvested today. I have to keep every drop I excrete in a 24 hour period and figured it would be easiest to do this at home. Who wants to tote a plastic cone to pee in and saving jar all over the place? Not me. I’m having to do this because I have high blood pressure and this will tell my doctor if my kidneys are working properly.

Because I am so freaking tired all of the time, my doctor is also checking to see if I’m anemic. I kind of hope I am because that is something that can be fixed rather easily and would explain why I have all of the get up and go of a wet sock. Sweety left for work about an hour ago and I’m hiding in the bed right now, summoning the oomph to get back up and clean out my dresser drawers. That’s my goal for today.

Sweety woke me this morning (before the pee harvesting began) with the plastic cone on his head while he sang “Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime gal.” standing in the doorway. I kind of think he wasn’t fully awake.

The carpenter ants we had? Those bitches are gone. We did have an exterminator come out and he evicted/murdered them. I am glad.

Ok. I’m going to take a tiny nap now and then do some stuff before Sweety gets home!

Sweety had to get a physical for insurance purposes and a nurse came to the house this morning. He looked a little green around the gills after she drew blood and she asked him if he wanted to go lie down. On his way to the bedroom he fainted. Sweety’s a rather tall fellow and it was a long way down. I think the nurse is an idiot and shouldn’t have suggested that he get up from the chair he was in to walk across the damned room until he felt a bit better. I’m glad he didn’t crack his jughead open.

When I was in Oklahoma, a friend of mine from school (also my cousin. but, we are almost all related in that little town) went with me to pick out fabric for the Bean’s room.

She’s going to make the bedding set for the crib and a curtain AND a canopy! A canopy! For a baby girl! Heeheeheehee! Pardon my excitement. The more patterned stuff (the paisley and stuff with flowers on it) will be used as little accent bits. I think it’s all going to come together nicely.

And here was the Bean as of July 12…

Supposedly, she was almost 22 weeks along there. I think the doctor is a week off though and she would have been around 21. I went at getting pregnant with some super precision and I’m pretty sure I can tell you when I got the poke that knocked me up.

BB is having his wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. General anesthesia. I was going to go (that’s why it was scheduled for my day off) but I think I’m going to skip it. The coaew will be there and I know that Sweety is very nervous about having to sit in a room with us for a couple of hours after I told him awhile back that the next time she so much as looked at me that I was going to tell her to shut up. As much as I love seeing humans and animals as medication is wearing off, I’m going to do Sweety a favor and stay home.

But then, she got my attention.

He had something like 3000 pumpkin pies!

Thinking to myself: mmmm…pumpkin pies…wish I had one.Oh, that sounds good! I’d like one right now.

Mom looks at me warily.

Okay, maybe half a one. I like pumpkin pie!

Pumpkin pie?!

Uh, yeah. Isn’t that what we’re talking about? He had 3000 pumpkin pies made?

No! Women! He had 3000 women!

Ooooo…concubines? Not pumpkin pies?

Yes.

Oh. Nevermind. I don’t want one.

Actually, I would love one.

I’d take her home and have her clean the house but Mama wouldn’t have liked hearing that.

Wombats, opossums, owls and trees are going to the the theme of the nursery. If the Bean had been a boy – he was going to be named Roland and have a Dark Tower themed room. Maybe next time, heh.

I think Oliver understood me when I explained to him that he was going to have his very own bedroom in our new closet. He went in there and dropped his bone like it belonged. He’s ready for some privacy away from the terrorizing ways of Tiny Dog. She likes to stand behind him and bark while he’s eating. I can’t imagine that that is good for his digestion.

I’m feeling the Bean move around a little now! Very cool.

My tits are getting so heavy that I sleep with a pillow between them when I’m sleeping on my side to keep the top one from smashing the bottom one. Sweety happened to walk into the room one night while I was adjusting the tit-pillow and said that it was a sight that he could have lived his whole life without seeing. Sorry, dude.

Soon, I won’t be able to groom my cooch. My boobs are getting in the way. Will you hold my tits up so I can whack away down there?

Um, how about you get a wax job done?

Dude! No way am I paying someone to rip hair off my vag!

Well, maybe I would pay them for you.

Oh, so you’re saying it’s a total turnoff to think about hoisting my tits up so I can see to shave.

Yes.