Drinking sweet milk that was bought from a street vendor in Korea right around my second birthday. It came in a round paper container with a foil lid that you poked a straw through.

Climbing up a woodpile to get away from a headless chicken.

Wanting to jump off the edge of a mountain when we were looking down at deer in the woods below.

Seeing the school bus full of kids going to the zoo drive by me and my grandparents while we were driving to the optometrist. They went to the zoo and I got a fucking eyepatch to wear over my lazy eye. That made headstart fun. Not.

Hiding under the covers in the bedroom I shared with my grandparents because I was afraid that Snuffleupagus was going to come out of the closet. The bedspread was pea green with little fuzzy-knobby things on it.

Getting an adult library card when I was in the third grade. Loving having the whole library at my disposal.

My little sister locking me in the bathroom when we were home alone. She knew I’d kill her if she let me out so she didn’t until Mom got home.

The way the hot tar bubbles on the road would pop when we stepped on them on our walk to the town swimming pool.

Grandma making us wear orange lifejackets to the swimming pool. We quickly taught ourselves to swim so we could ditch those things.

Learning to drive a stickshift. Deciding that I would never own such a vehicle.

The song that I was on when I danced with my first husband when we were in high school.

Listening to my sister-in-law give birth to my nephew. Thinking that I would have to have my ass knocked out if I ever had kids.

The way my nephew’s head felt on my cheek when he was a baby.

My niece’s little cone-head when she was born. She looked like Marge Simpson.

The horrible way my niece’s arm looked when she broke it under my watch and the way she bounced on the ground when she fell.

Holding Sylvie’s hand when we go places. I know she won’t let me hold it much longer.

What Sweety was wearing the first time we met.

The sneaky look on Sweety’s face after he scared the hell out of me by popping a straw on our first date. That’s when I fell in love.

LB’s face peeking at me over the edge of the bed the first morning after I’d met him. Waking me up to play and be Pink Ranger.

BB asking me if I wanted to see the surprise (engagement ring) that his daddy had hidden away for me. I told him no but he was dying to show me. We waited til Sweety got home to see it.

16 Comments | In: randomness, remembering | | #

First off – I think I’ve had too much to drink. I decided to clean the house of the half used bottles. My liver and kidneys are doing a fantastic job tonight!

I started this about an hour ago. There was a purpose here but I forgot.

Wouldn’t it be nice to wear a diaper? One that wicks the urine away from your body? I think so.

Sometimes I grind my teeth. I just gnawed a hole in my shirt.

The shirt! Got it from work. Went into work today to get an email letting me know that I was the Team Captain for some game we were having. My pod had been divided into two groups and it is my job to rally my group to sell stuff.

I called Sweety freaking the fuck out because I am not a group leader. I’m at work for my basic paycheck and leave me and my social ineptness alone. He offered the prize that I could give to my team if they beat the other team.

A chicken wing party with draft beer (we cover the beer). I’m going to throw the idea out there and hope my team bites. I think my team is comprised of Amish folk that like to make quilts in their spare time though. I’m going to offer them a consolation prize.

14 Comments | In: randomness | | #

When I come home from work to barking dogs and LB is yelling at the barking dogs – I want to stab myself in the head. Repeatedly. I literally had to bite my tongue to not shriek, “Whatthefuckareyoudoing? DoyounotHEARYOURSELF?!” About that time, Sweety walked up and mentioned that I looked on edge and proceeded to give me a shoulder rub. I was so tense that it made me scream. Not a good kind of scream either.

Oliver? The best dog ever? Who has only been with us for nine days? Has already learned to ring the bell that is hanging from the doorknob with his nose when he needs to go potty. Perhaps Stinky and Tiny will follow his lead. Highly unlikely. AND he will roll over on command and when you give a short whistle he’ll flop onto his back to show you his belly. He is made of awesome.

I nibbled off all of my nails today at work. It gave me something to do and by the time I was done almost 2 hours had passed. Maybe tomorrow I will pluck my eyebrows off to help pass the time.

Something I like? Getting a nice email from someone saying that they liked my photos and they did NOT include a photo of their penis or mention whacking off. Very civilized.

18 Comments | In: canines, randomness, sprogs | | #

I’ve been following Sarah’s blog and photography for a few years now. I really love her photos. She’s in a contest and this is the last week to vote.

If you would click here to vote! Just scroll down and click the star on the far right to rate it a five. Please and thank you! You don’t have to sign up or enter any sort of info. Just click the star! And you can vote once every 24 hours from any IP address.

8 Comments | In: randomness | | #

Wish I lived somewhere it was cold enough to wear a peacoat. Peacoat. I like that word. Like chickpea. A coat for chickpeas? If a chickpea had legs they’d be skinny with knobby knees. People, THIS is where my sleep-deprived mind goes. But really, imagine a chickpea in a navy blue peacoat – hilarious!

My first neti pot was purchased the other day. I can’t swim without holding my nose shut but am desperate to get rid of this sinus infection. Sweety wanted to watch me irrigate my sinuses. I let him. I still won’t let him watch me on the toilet though. A girl has to have her boundaries!

I think my head is getting better but I’m still not sleeping worth a damn. Sweety said he’s enjoying having the bed to himself and when Stinky Dog sleeps on the couch with me you can feel her joy. I think they conspired to make me sick for their own gain.

Realized last night that BB will be getting his learner’s driving permit next month. When did this happen?

I was offered a chance at a temporary job doing something else (not on the phones!) but said no because I wouldn’t be able to take the boys to school if Sweety couldn’t. It has occurred me if one kid is almost driving and the other is almost bigger than me that they would probably live if they had to walk the two miles to school. I’m going to put my name in the hat for the job the next go around and see what happens.

I’ll be glad when the other laptop is fixed. I find it disturbing to turn on my computer and see Sweety’s porn trail. I know he looks at it. It’s just unsettling to see the titles to the things that he looks at. I shall not repeat them here.

And here is this. Just because I think it’s funny.

22 Comments | In: randomness | | #

Watch this:

And read this:

One of the best posts ever.

Really. It gave me goosebumps and made me want to cry and smile at the same time.

8 Comments | In: randomness | | #