The people on Extreme Couponing get on my nerves. What is the point in hoarding more toothpaste than you can use in a lifetime?

Oliver is a teetotaler. To the point that he will run if Sweety walks towards him with an empty beer bottle at his level.

Tiny Dog will bite your hand off to sniff that same bottle.

I’m so broken out that Sweety said that touching me was like reading braille.

If I would have known that Sweety would get a window unit air conditioner for our bedroom because he wants his “baby mama” (as he so lovingly calls me) to sleep comfortably? We’d have a third-grader already. I love sleeping in a cooler!

When Oliver passes gas now, while I’m gagging I say thanks for the fact that his guts are working and he’s not bloated. I never thought I’d be glad to smell something so bad that it makes me gag.

BB’s first date went well. There was an issue where he didn’t contact us when we told him to but Sweety had a “come to Jesus” meeting and that shouldn’t happen in the future. And if it does, I’m going to smash his cell phone into eleventy billion pieces and he will never leave the house again.

LB went to his first school dance Friday night. We didn’t realize he was planning on going until Thursday. He’d refused to go to any of the other dances during the school year and we were very surprised to learn that he purchased a ticket to go to this one. He said he wanted to so since it was the last dance of the year. It was only for 8th graders. He wore his nice clothes (slacks, long-sleeved shirt & tie) and didn’t call us to come get him until it was all over. When he got in the car, he had a string of Mardi Gras type beads around his neck. It took everything in me to not ask him if he showed his tits for them. He was pretty embarrassed that Sweety was asking him about dancing with girls. I didn’t want to make it worse.

14 Comments | In: canines, randomness, sprogs | | #

The dreadful bloat that killed Stinky Dog? Oliver had a little brush with it the other night. Luckily I was able to force-feed his ass some Maalox and his stomach didn’t flip. When I win the lottery, he’s going to get surgery done to staple his stomach down so I never have to worry about this. We woke up to a sea of foamy vomit in our bedroom and he was pacing around. His stomach wasn’t distended at all and it looked like the early stage of bloat so I Maaloxed him and waited. He quit puking and calmed down and went to sleep. I didn’t go to sleep. I got up every 15 minutes or so to jab him in the belly to make sure it wasn’t hard and that he was still alive. It was a fun night for all.

We are now extra careful to keep Oliver from getting so excited that he quickly does two backflips in a row, causing his guts to get jumbled. Weenie dogs aren’t built for acrobatics. Part of me wants to give him a lobotomy so he’ll calm down and be a little doggy vegetable so I don’t have to worry about this. But, The Crazy is part of his charm. He takes after his Mama.

We got to see the Bean a couple of weeks ago. You can see the mass that is the baby here, if you’d like. The due date is 11/11/11. Sweety is very pleased with the due date and has instructed me to hold the baby in until then. I’ll see what I can do for him.

Besides the baby percolating, we’ve got lots of shit going on around here. I’m trying to stay conscious and not sleep all the time so I don’t have to deal with it but being awake is hard.

BB passed the exam to do dual enrollment next year. This means he can take college classes as part of his high school curriculum. This means that he needs a method of transportation to get to the college. This means that we get to fund that along with a hike in insurance. Yay! But, I’m glad that he is able to do this. I think it’ll be a good thing for him.

And Sweety’s job is kind of up in the air. I’m trying to not think about that. Hopefully, all will be well but we won’t know for a couple of months. Yay for waiting! Worst case scenario is I keep working and Sweety stays at home with the Bean. Best case scenario is he keeps his job and I’m able to quit mine next summer. The idea of getting to quit my job almost makes me weep with happiness.

Oh! Speaking of my job! A week or so ago someone fired a gun at the building. Nice. There’s a bullethole in the wall nearest to my desk (on the 2nd floor – the dug the bullet out of one of our chairs) and they shot through a window on the first floor. We had a meeting a couple of days ago where we were told that we could get in serious trouble for using the phrases, OMG, Oh my god, Oh my goodness, Oh my word, Oh my ANYTHING used in place of the word god because we may offend someone (and I don’t mean using the phrases with customers – I mean using the phrases out loud in the building anywhere) but for BULLETS coming into the building they told us to keep calm and carry on. Oooookay…

Will you do me a favor and click here to vote for Bekah’s kid? She’s cute and I love her. All you have to do is click the “vote” button. No signing up or filling out anything.

18 Comments | In: canines, gestating, randomness | | #

Holy shit. It’s been so long since I last posted that I forgot how to start one in WordPress.

I’ve been tired and busy. My sister came down to stay for a little over two weeks and that was awesome! We haven’t had time to hang out alone in years. It was nice hanging out with her. And since she left, my work schedule has been crazy. I traded a lot of days so I could be off when she was here and traded some more days to help out people who helped me. My normal schedule is back in effect next week and I’m glad.

The tired. Good grief, the tired.

I’ll be honest, when I’ve heard pregnant women talk about being so tired during the beginning of their pregnancy? I kind of thought they must be fluffing that up. How could such a tiny organism make you that damned tired? Less than the size of a peanut? No way! Oh, yes. Yes, way. I feel like I could go hibernate somewhere for the next several months. I have actually gone to bed when the sun is still up. The boys are used to seeing me doze on the couch while they play their video games or watch t.v. They don’t even try to sit there anymore.

We go to the doctor tomorrow and we get to see the bean. We saw it about 4 weeks in and they said everything looked good and that I needed to go home and gestate for a few more weeks and they’d see me after week 10. I spend all my time trying to be calm and send “don’t fall out!” thoughtbeams to my uterus. My uterus has been known to not take kindly to hitchhikers and I’ll be so relieved to see a baby hanging in there with a nice sturdy placenta tomorrow.

Sweety broke down this weekend and got a new phone! He got rid of his tiny, shitty-reception-having phone and got an iPhone. He has admitted that he likes it and said he can see why I’m always fiddling with mine. He has also been on Facebook and Twitter more in the past three days than in the past three years. We found BB’s Facebook page and Sweety quickly sent him a friend request, pored over BB’s page and then told him that he needed to use spellcheck before putting up any status updates. BB is so happy that his father got a new cell phone! Heh.

10 Comments | In: gestating, randomness | | #

Since I last posted:

On the 13th I found out I was pregnant. If all goes according to plan, the baby should rocket into the world the last half of November. Yay, procreation! I wasn’t going to tell anyone until I was further along but I can’t keep my own secrets to save my life.

Also on the 13th, I sprained Oliver’s tail. He got his wag back a few days ago but I was really worried that it was broken and he’d never wag it again. I am so relieved that he’s back to his old self.

Sweety had surgery on his knee on the 16th. They took out a lot of his meniscus. He thinks he’s Superfuckingman and thought that he’d be back at work on the next Monday but that did not come to pass. It’s still pretty sore. He’s been home every day. It’s interesting to have him here. I’m glad that he’s listening to his doctor and not pushing his body. That knee will be his for the rest of his life!

My Mama and sweet niece got here last Sunday and left today. I was waiting until I saw her to tell her that I was pregnant. I walked up to her at the luggage carousel at the airport and gave her a hug. She put her hand on my belly and asked if I had a surprise in there before I could tell her. Sweety said that I just look pregnant. I don’t think so. I’m a pimply mess and I’m tired all of the damned time. How can a tiny little organism whack my body out like this?

Here we are at Disney. Notice in the first photo that Sylive is pretending to flick Pluto’s nose and in the second one I’m holding her hand so she can’t. That girl is something else.

She just got a new haircut – a faux hawk. She’s been growing her hair out and it was just long enough for a ponytail but she decided she likes it short and if other kids don’t that they will just have to get over it.

I’m working on a post about my trip to Bekah’s last month but it is slow going. Tomorrow is her husband’s birthday! Happy birthday, Mark!

25 Comments | In: randomness | | #