He existed in the house with my mother and father (I hadn’t slept under the same roof with them in 20 years. There is a reason they’re divorced.).

He was home alone with Bean while Mom and I were gone and my Dad showed up with his lady-friend that none of us had ever met – we didn’t know he was bringing her to our house.

He’s totally okay with my niece living with us indefinitely.

He’s been okay with me having lots of company since Bean’s birth. We were home alone with her the first week but have had visitors ever since. I like that. The week that I was home alone with her, I had a giant case of The Weepies and I just looked at her and cried about who-knows-what every spare moment. I’m still a little off feeling and having someone around helps keep that away.

He surprised the hell out of me on Christmas. I’d told him that I didn’t want anything. On Christmas morning though there were presents for me under the tree – hand sanitizer, scissors and garbage bags. When cleaning up all of the present-opening carnage, Sweety told me to look under the couch and there was one more present for me there – a MacBook. He rocks.

Right now he is dancing around the living room with Bean telling her, “Your Mama couldn’t have done any better with you. Nope, she couldn’t have done any better than having a baby with me.” Heh.

I’ve gotta say – she is an awesome baby. The only time she really cries a lot is late at night when she’s tired. She goes right back to sleep after waking up to eat in the night and generally lets me lie her down when she sleeps during the day. I spend much time petting her while she sleeps.

Right now she sleeps with us at night in a basket that fits on our bed between us. My grand plan is to let her keep sleeping with us after she outgrows the basket but Sweety isn’t on board with that yet. He said he doesn’t want a kid sleeping with us forever. I told him it won’t be forever. I mean, she probably won’t be 13 and crawling into bed with us.

See this?

Notice the little fist in the top right? She’s screaming because she’s pulling her own damned hair. She likes to pet her head when she’s eating and this can happen way too easily.

Heh, something funny that happened with BB…He had told his girlfriend’s 13 year old sister that when the new Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn, came out that if she remembered to ask him that he’d take her to the opening showing that started at midnight. He was telling me about it and he was saying that he didn’t think she’d remember. I told him that she would definitely remember and she did.

The best part? BB’s girlfriend didn’t want to go see the movie at midnight because she didn’t want to be tired at school the next day so BB had to take her little sister alone. I kept calling him a creeper and told him that from now on when I see a guy on a date with a girl who looks way too young for him that I will assume that she’s his girlfriend’s sister and he’s taking her out because he opened his mouth and made a stupid promise. He hadn’t seen any of the Twilight movies and spent a couple of days watching them so he’d know what was going on. When I asked him the next day how the movie was with her, his only answer was, “Awkward. Very awkward.”

For the first New Year’s Eve in 17 years, I’m not drinking in the New Year. My beverage of choice tonight is Caffeine Free Coke. Usually I drink the caffeine-free and diet version but decided to walk on the wild side for New Year’s Eve. I’m really looking forward to what 2012 has in store for us.

Happy New Year!

This time, next week – I will be meeting the fantabulous Jeni. I am most excited. Like, excuse me while I squee on myself excited. I hope I don’t act like a dork. I think we will have a large time.

Right now I’m really tired and should take a shower and go to bed but I’m feeling too lazy to go shower. I don’t know what I hope to gain by sitting here. Strength from Tiny Dog?

Sweety just trapped Oliver under the blanket with his own (Oliver’s own) fart. Oliver is busy gagging and sneezing and trying to escape from under the blanket. I wish I had nickel for every time I’ve been awakened by something horrible escaping Oliver’s bowels as he sleeps peacefully.

We have started letting Tiny Dog and Oliver stay in the same room together during the day. I was afraid that he might have a psychotic break and eat Tiny but all seems to be well. I guess I just had to force them to love one another.

Starting today I am going to be in a better mood. I have nothing to complain about. I have a great life. I know I’ve been really dragging Sweety down the past week or so. As I told him last night, I’m not sad for me, I’m sad in general and I’m going to stop. So, there.

Last night I found my new drink. Woodchuck Draft Cider, the Granny Smith kind. I’m not a big beer drinker because I’m not a fan of the flavor. Usually, I slam shots until the bottle is empty. But this stuff? It’s good! Not carbonated! I’ve never had cider before. I had all 6 last night and got to feeling pretty good but not so good that I felt like shit this morning. I was even able to tidy the house last night before going to bed so we didn’t wake up to the place looking like it had been used for a frat party and I didn’t have any strange markings or bruises on my body when checking today.

The photo was, of course, taken by the fantabulous Bekah. Back in the spring. The same week that BP fucked up the ocean.

Maybe Bekah took this photo while she was belly-crawling on her way to the bathroom to do who-knows-what.

I like my phone. And my Sweety. He’d sent something amusing.

You can click it to see the carefully edited photo in all its glory.

For the record, I do not lounge around naked with the dog (well, not without a blanket between us). She was being ejected from the bed.

I love the look on Tiny Dog’s face.