Sweety is the far superior spouse in this relationship. He does nice things for me. He’s nice to my friends. He puts up with My Crazy. And My Crazy runs deep. To the core. He is not horrified at some of the things that fall from my lips but instead deals with it. My general laziness, quirks and odd reasoning…
He’s had a couple of moment where he lost his shit but really? Any guy that can go almost 9 years with me and only lose his shit just a couple of times has a boatload of patience.
Tomorrow is his birthday and I haven’t gotten him anything. He told me something that he wanted a couple of weeks ago and it was something that would need to be ordered online and I didn’t have any money until this weekend.
I’m going to stop and get a little something on my way home from work tomorrow and just try and be nice and pleasant for awhile.
coaew called Sweety last weekend wanting to know how much he’s sell the boys televisions for (they’re not true televisions. They’re computer monitors but when we had cable they could watch t.v. on them. We have satellite now so they can’t use them.) because she’s buying a new computer tower and wanted one to use as a monitor.
He told her to ask the boys how much they wanted for them. He paid around $110 each for them 3 or 4 years ago and they’re pretty outdated. She called him back and said she was giving the boys $70 EACH for them. He laughed (a strangled laugh of disbelief. not an evil chuckle. he’s nicer than me.) and said we had planned of just putting them by the curb to let anyone pick up and she said she’d already told the boys she’d pay them.
Well, I say fuck that. I dropped those fucking monitors at least a dozen times on the garage floor last night when I saw that they were by the front door waiting for her to pick them up today. I hope she plugs those bitches in and they catch on fire.
And if they do work and the boys get paid? I am damn sure making them kick in on their Dad’s Christmas present this year.
I wouldn’t be so annoyed if she hadn’t called him last week with all kinds of stupid-assed questions. She wanted to know what all she’d need to hook up wireless internet service to a PlayStation3 if she got the boys one for Christmas. (she started the conversation with, “Hey, I got an unexpected check…” hey! maybe she could use some of that cash to buy some supplies for all of the motherfucking school projects I have to help with.) He actually told her that she needed to talk to her husband and hung up on her.
When we went on vacation awhile back, I left out of here on a Tuesday morning with Sylvie and LB. (BB did not come on vacation this year because he had a big baseball game. They lost.) About 3 hours into the trip, I told Sylvie that she was finally old enough to go snipe hunting.
In this case, the “snipe” was a fictional, small, furry mammal. A bit smaller than a guinea pig. A good pet if you can find one!
Sylvie got very excited. I told her if she caught one that I’d buy her a cage for it. She spent the next 5 days talking about it. She told everyone that we met that she was going snipe hunting. And everyone said things like, “Oh, wow! I hear the snipes are running thick in Oklahoma this year!” She wondered aloud what she would name her pet snipe. She hoped that it would have purple fur but any color would do.
The day of the hunt, it occurred to me that she might not take the joke as well as we’d hoped. The original snipe hunt calls for leaving your victim in the dark to be scared shitless. I nixed that part from the hunt. I tried to talk Sweety into letting me buy a guinea pig, shaving it and tossing it in the road and telling her it was a snipe. He nixed that part of the hunt.
Before you watch the video, let me mention that my default emotion is manic laughter. I wasn’t really laughing like a hyena at a little heartbroken girl.
*
As soon as Sweety turned the camera off, Sylvie and I took off to the bedroom where I told her about my snipe hunt and the boys’. Those made her laugh. In the midst of laughing, she narrowed her eyes and said to me, “You owe me, Aunt Anna. You owe me a big one.”
Sylvie’s such an odd cat that I really didn’t think she was going to freak out so badly. She’d spent a large part of her visit with us asking me uncomfortable questions. Questions always about Chi Chi…
I always knew it would be a Chi Chi question because of the sweet way that she’d drag out my name.
Aunt Annnna? Great Grandma’s in heaven and Chi Chi’s in dog heaven. Do you think Great Grandma is mad at you because you put Chi Chi in dog heaven or is she happy because they can visit sometimes and they aren’t in pain anymore?
Aunt Annnna? If you could go back in time….and relive the last two months of Chi Chi’s life? What would you do differently?
Well, I guess I’d have made sure she stayed away from the damned swimming pool.
Sweety would like it to be known that the bit of marshmallow that gets on his face in the end DID NOT COME OUT OF HIS NOSE. He put it there with his fingers on accident.
I think it’s hilarious that he will let me post this but is worried that you will think he blew marshmallow out of his nose.
. Bekah’s husband and adorable kid Chubby Bunnied it up tonight too.
This weekend I got a GPS! Yay! I’ll NEVER be lost again! To celebrate, I took the boys to this fort. When we got there, I realized it was NOT the fort that I’d meant to go to. I wanted to go here but I hadn’t known the name of the place when I was looking for it. But thanks to technology, I was able to find the proper name and get us there.
We spent a little over an hour, sweating our asses off, looking at the fort. Very neat. Then we went to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! I love those places. I’m such a sucker. Then we walked all over downtown Saint Augustine. And then? Then I was able to follow my new leader, The GPS, as it led me home. Wonderful!
We got the GPS since I’m driving the boys and my niece to Oklahoma this summer for our vacation. I’ll leave a couple of days before Sweety is flying out and then will pick him up from the airport. We’re going to stop in Alabama and do some sight-seeing there on our way. And I know I’ve mentioned it already, but TINY DOG WILL BE WITH ME! IN BED! WITH ME! FOR TWO WEEKS!
Do you know what’s second best to hotel sex? Sleeping with Tiny Dog in a hotel. I can’t wait. Sweety is going to read this, become even more jealous of Tiny and off her before vacation. I can see it happening.
Do you know what makes me want to have hotel sex at home?
Sweety washing Stinky Dog for me. You really have no idea what a turn on it is.
Stinky isn’t so excited when the bathing is going on but she reaps benefits later. She’s easier to love when she isn’t oily. Um, don’t ask why the flashlight is in the background. I’m not sure exactly what Sweety does when he’s washing her. I just know that she’s clean when she walks out of the bathroom.
Let me share something with you. I finished those damn Twilight books. I didn’t want to like them. The first two didn’t really excite me but book three got under my skin. Went out and got the last book and read it in one 5 hour sitting. Because I had to know how it ended before I could go to sleep. I am so glad that I’m done with them. And for the record, I am Team Jacob. I have had dreams of having little werewolfy babies. I can’t believe that I’m admitting that.
