July 22nd, 2010
Like I Need A Pencil To The Eye
My Mom has taken all the kids to the movie (Yes, movie. Only one screen. Karate Kid is playing. I’m boycotting it.) and Sweety is being super nice and mowing her lawn. I am supervising my hair brother (aka Mom’s spoiled chihuahua) from the safety of the house while my mind spins in circles.
This happens every year – about midway through our vacation I start to worry about work. That maybe I did something wrong and when I get back to work I’ll discover that I’ve been fired. WHY DO I DO THIS?
Is it because this is the only time of year that I don’t eat Xanax four times a week? Am I detoxing from that shit and extreme paranoia is a side effect? Gah. You know what? I don’t even have caffeine at work anymore because I don’t want to be alert when I’m there. I eat my little pill on the way to work and sleep with my eyes open all day long. And if something freaks me out during the day? Well, maybe I’ll take a bathroom break and chew one of those little blue bitches up on my way off the floor.
I’m already planning on going into work on my own time the day before I’m scheduled back to clear out email and anything that’s been left on my desk. This will also give me the chance to make sure all my passwords work so I’ll know I’m still employed.
