I want to poke someone.
I want to pinch someone.
I want to make them cry.
I do.
- The Monogram Queen

Two people in Cubeville make me want to sharpen pencils and do horrible things.

There is this chick with a hyena like laugh. Help me. Not only does she have the laugh, she’s also a real deep fried cunt. (You just picture one of those. It is crispy and mean. It hurts when you put something in it.) Just a straight up bitch whether you need something at work or if you run into her in public. I happened to see her when Sweety and I were at a restaurant a couple of weeks ago and when walking by I said something like “hi” or “how are you?” and she totally snubbed me. Not that I give a damn but that was rude. Par for the course, I suppose.

And there is Speakerphone Guy. All. Day. Long. he is on calls (Very important calls, I’m sure! Wait, if they’re important shouldn’t you maybe keep them private?) using the speakerphone. You can hear the entire conversations all damn day long. I’m thinking someone needs to send an anonymous letter in complaining about it. *ahem*

It’s not enough that I’m wearing a headset and getting ear raped for 10 hours a day by angry customers. I’ve also got this shit on either side of me.

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The boys had to be bribed to go with me. They got to go to a movie (Madagascar 2 was good, btw) in exchange for going and wrangling the live dogs. I was standing in line with Chi Chi 2.0 in my arms when the lady behind me struck up a conversation…

Oh! Is that a chihuahua?

Yes.

Wow! She is tiny! I’ve never seen such a tiny dog!

Yeah. She weighs barely anything. She is very light!

(she peeks at Chi Chi’s wizened face that I have half-heartedly covered with a blanket) Is she very old?

Oh, yes. She is very, very old.

(she touches Chi Chi’s nose lightly and draws back) Wow! She’s asleep, huh? She sleeps good.

She is a very hard sleeper. She is the best dog ever.

The whole time, I’m talking in a very serious tone and I can see BB standing behind the lady and his face is all red because he’s trying to not burst out laughing. I would have told the lady that she was dead but I was afraid that she’d freak out and the other people in line would freak out and I would be asked to leave before getting the photo done.

These are the lights that the neighbor glares at.

I so love those twig things with lights on them.

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Bathaholics Anonymous
Click on the sheep and visit my friend’s store! Her stuff is good, good, good!

Not only does the soap get you clean and not dry you out – it’s also great to shave with. I’ve been using it on my legs and whatnot. It doesn’t burn the heck out of you if it happens to land on any sensitive area.

The bubble bath bombs? You too, can have a good time like this if you put one in your tub. For real. I also like the bath bombs because they make you soft. Soft but not greasy. That goes for the bubble bath bombs as well as the regular bath bombs. She has powdered bubble bath too! Pretty powdered bubble bath!

Shipping is 2.50 for the first item and then .50 for each additional one. I tell you what – if you get something and really don’t like it – I will pay you back for it. The only way you can beat that deal is with a stick. So, go get something. You’ll like it!

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