We Didn’t See Any Pilgrims


We went to Massachusetts to visit Sweety’s mother a couple of weeks ago. I loved the place! It was cold and there were some autumn leaves still clinging around. I saw one tree that had leaves that were completely red. I had never seen such. And I ate crab cakes for breakfast! Crab! Breakfast!

The boys stayed with their grandparents and Sweety’s mother was nice enough to get us a room at a hotel. (And, I was fixing to link to it and just remembered that she has friends that work there. I would not want for someone to see that backlink and have her show up here.) The place had two giant waterslides and I did not bring a swimsuit because I didn’t even know where we were staying. I was just along for the ride.

Guess what? The cough that has kept me from sleeping in the same room with Sweety since mid-August? It diminished enough that I was not an annoyance to Sweety and we were able to sleep in the same room!

Damn, he's cute.

And we have ever since we got back! (Um, except for that one night when I gave him a really bad titty-twister because he tried to bearhug me after he’d farted and the titty-twister hurt so bad that he broke things. That night I plotted revenge slept on the couch. With one eye open. I’ll have to video blog that little story because it’s too much to type but is really worth hearing.)

Sweety and I did lots of sightseeing during the day and then met up with everyone else for supper. One of the places we went to was Pilgrim Monument. We climbed to the top. Well, Sweety climbed and I kind of huffed and puffed. At one point I got a little ahead of Sweety and thought I’d scare him. It didn’t work and he asked me to crouch back down so he could take a photo. I obliged but didn’t realize that he was taking a video instead.

Don’t you just LOVE that look on my face at the end?

And here I am on the way down from the top of the tower. I was very, very, very happy to be climbing down the stairs instead of up them.

I was pretending to be a robot soldier.

We discovered that Sweety could actually take the ramps down in two hops.

When the monument was being built, I doubt they expected it to be used in such a manner.

And if all of that wasn’t enough for you – you can see all the photos here.



Just Say “NO!”


Makes me giggle maniacally

It’s okay to punch a gorilla or orangutan but leave the sweet monkeys alone. Look at this little guy. Can you imagine how heartless you’d have to be to give him a whack? Bad people punch monkeys. Don’t be one.

This fantastic bit of vinyl goodness was created by Heather at 212 Degree Designs. I told her my idea and she made it real! If you want to decorate your space or ride she can make it happen! I’ve discovered that I like sticking vinyl on things almost as much as getting a new tattoo. I was immediately giddy after putting this on the car.

I almost put this on my desk at work because I always need a laugh there but figured I will have the car long after that job. I hope. Oh, how I hope!

Big credit to Amy for alerting me to the fact that there are monkey punchers out there! I think you can see them better after a glass or wine or ten. And if you don’t follow us on Facebook then this whole thing probably doesn’t make a lot of sense.



It’s Not Too Late!


Help save the tits! Boobiethon is in full swing and just about over! I’ve got a shot in the free gallery that was taken awhile back and a brand spanking new one of my nakedness that was taken yesterday!

Donate to see all of the goods!



Wootie-Woot!


Last night a friend went with me to Jacksonville to meet Scott Sigler. He’s on tour to pimp out his newest book, The Rookie. Really, people, if you like anything remotely sci-fi or horror – you will love his work. If you have time to listen to things check out his free audiobooks. (And this is good free! Not crappy sounding audiobooks!) Nocturnal is one hell of a listen and if you need paper format – you can find Infected in bookstores and it’s out in paperback. (And they are all on my bookshelf! Muahahahahaha!)

I plugged the address into my GPS and we took off on a two hour drive. And ended up at a house next to the beach that looked like it was on the outskirts of the Twilight Zone. I fully expected an old blind lady to come out of the house, swinging a hatchet as I was trying to look up the correct location. (Note to self: When lost – go on and park somewhere that looks halfway safe before devoting attention to finding directions.) Luckily, my friend was able to get directions using her phone and we arrived right on time at the correct place.

He was totally fucking awesome. There wasn’t a giant crowd of people there so it was easy to watch him with my stalkercrazy eyes hear and see him.

See?

Meeting Scott Sigler

I don’t think I’m normally that gawk-eyed but the angle I was looking at the camera was weird. I didn’t REALLY look that crazy. I hope. Wait…maybe I did? I blame the beer and the one shot of bad tequila. Just a shot of tequila and I feel like I’ve been dipped in glitter. Sweaty glitter.

Have you ever had your face hurt from smiling so much? Well, the reverse happened to me. I wanted to grin like a fool for 4.5 hours but was afraid that I looked like a lunatic so I tried to rein it in. It was hard work to keep the happy-crazy reeled in.

We got to hear about his trip so far and when new things will be coming out. I also learned that he still uses the 1st generation iPhone. I thought I was the only person left holding out on the upgrade.

He signed all of my books! When I’m a fanatic – I’m a fanatic. I made it my mission over the past several weeks to search out all of his books that have been printed and I toted them up there.

Oh! Maybe I was “sick” yesterday *cough* *cough* and didn’t go to work. But I got this cool shirt that I want to wear to work.

See the dates? Yeah, I was there yesterday on 9/22 but asked if he’d sign it by 9/23 so it wouldn’t look like I played hooky from work to see him. (Today, the 23rd is my normal day off.) He was nice enough to do that and even put an asterisk beside it to highlight the date. Heh.

I am such a dork.



From Crappy To Happy In 8 Hours


Friday didn’t start out too well.

Sweety called while I was on my way to work (as he usually does) and our nice conversation took a bad turn. He’d been up since 4 a.m. when he was called in unexpectedly to go to work and I was in my normal cranky mood that I was going to work. I know I should be grateful to have a job but it’s very disheartening to go in and be told constantly that you will be fired if you don’t start doing the imfuckingpossible. Sweety said that it wouldn’t happen. I told him it was. It wasn’t like this was idle office gossip. This shit comes from the horses mouths.

He got mad and yelled at me. Told me to quit my fucking job and blah, blah, blah. I think I hung up on him about the same time he hung up on me. I cried my way on in to work and to my cube where cubemates asked if I was okay. I think my response was, “Yeah. My husband’s a fucking asshole though.” I could see that he’d left a message on my cell phone but I didn’t even check it because I was still so freaked out. Then he sent me a text message to apologize. Have I mentioned Sweety’s disdain for texting? I knew the conversation must have bothered him if he’d spend a nickel to send a text and end it with “…please don’t kill me.” (And is it bad that he would end a text in such a manner? Maybe I should be nicer?)

Anyhoo. After starting my day of so finely, it went downhill from there. When I get upset it manifests itself in physical ways and I finally decided that I couldn’t sit there another moment without curling up like a burnt spider and dying. Or screaming. Or something.

So I called a friend that was off work and asked her if she’d want to take an impromptu trip to St. Augustine (It’s about an hour away from here). Bless her heart, she said yes and it was just what I needed. We wandered around some of the little shops and then had some fantastic food and beer. By the time we went back to the car I felt like a new person.

Sweety bowls on Friday nights now and we had to go through the town he bowls in our our way home and we decided to swing by there. We plopped down at the bar and drank and played music on the jukebox (I derive a sick pleasure from throwing in the random very odd song and seeing the looks of WTF on the faces of people when it starts to play.) and people watched.

And I discovered Agavero! It’s a tequila blend and it tastes like good sex. If you can imagine that having a taste. I had shots of all kinds of tequilas that were actually better than Patron silver but I can’t remember the names of them. It was like Christmas in September.

Sweety and his friends like to make stupid bets. They bet him a dollar each that he wouldn’t step on my purse. I come out of the bathroom and see him tap dancing on it under the table. I retrieve it. I go to the jukebox and see him tap dancing on it again. I retrieve it and warn him that I’ll bite a plug out of him if he does it again. He does it again. You know that muscle on top of your shoulder that runs from your shoulder to your neck? His has a dent in it now. (I almost took a photo for you but it is bad. Like, dog bite bad. But he was warned.) Despite the biting, we all had a large time.

Oh! I ATE CHICKEN WINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME! I’ve always avoided them because A) I don’t like meat on a stick and B) I foolishly thought that eating chicken skin would be slimy in some way. But it is not! It is crunchy and delightful!

The manager at the bar was an angel and rented us a room at the hotel nearby. Sweety was saying that he was on the phone getting a room and then I was getting a key. In my fuzzy mind, I thought he already had the room key there. Like the room was prerented for drunken bar guests. I learned this morning that he left the bar and rented the room and came back with the key. I will now take a bullet for this man and his loved ones.

Sweety and his friend came on home and my friend and I stayed in the room. It was amazingly nice to just go to sleep after leaving instead of getting in a moving car for an hour. When I woke up? NO hangover! I’d had an ungodly amount of tequila but felt dandy. It was like Christmas morning when I realized that I felt good. Better than good. Finer than hair on a frog’s ass.

The feeling has maintained today. I hope it stays awhile. I’ve missed it.



1034 of 3000!


Woot!

The newest Scott Sigler book has arrived! Signed! 1034 of 3000 copies! Woo hoo! See that puzzled look on Tiny Dog’s face? She was wondering why in the hell I was giggling like crazy while wielding a knife to rip the envelope open.

And in a moment of extreme dorkiness – I’d like to point out that the man himself left a comment in this post! Hahahahahaha!

Going to touch pages!