Drinking sweet milk that was bought from a street vendor in Korea right around my second birthday. It came in a round paper container with a foil lid that you poked a straw through.

Climbing up a woodpile to get away from a headless chicken.

Wanting to jump off the edge of a mountain when we were looking down at deer in the woods below.

Seeing the school bus full of kids going to the zoo drive by me and my grandparents while we were driving to the optometrist. They went to the zoo and I got a fucking eyepatch to wear over my lazy eye. That made headstart fun. Not.

Hiding under the covers in the bedroom I shared with my grandparents because I was afraid that Snuffleupagus was going to come out of the closet. The bedspread was pea green with little fuzzy-knobby things on it.

Getting an adult library card when I was in the third grade. Loving having the whole library at my disposal.

My little sister locking me in the bathroom when we were home alone. She knew I’d kill her if she let me out so she didn’t until Mom got home.

The way the hot tar bubbles on the road would pop when we stepped on them on our walk to the town swimming pool.

Grandma making us wear orange lifejackets to the swimming pool. We quickly taught ourselves to swim so we could ditch those things.

Learning to drive a stickshift. Deciding that I would never own such a vehicle.

The song that I was on when I danced with my first husband when we were in high school.

Listening to my sister-in-law give birth to my nephew. Thinking that I would have to have my ass knocked out if I ever had kids.

The way my nephew’s head felt on my cheek when he was a baby.

My niece’s little cone-head when she was born. She looked like Marge Simpson.

The horrible way my niece’s arm looked when she broke it under my watch and the way she bounced on the ground when she fell.

Holding Sylvie’s hand when we go places. I know she won’t let me hold it much longer.

What Sweety was wearing the first time we met.

The sneaky look on Sweety’s face after he scared the hell out of me by popping a straw on our first date. That’s when I fell in love.

LB’s face peeking at me over the edge of the bed the first morning after I’d met him. Waking me up to play and be Pink Ranger.

BB asking me if I wanted to see the surprise (engagement ring) that his daddy had hidden away for me. I told him no but he was dying to show me. We waited til Sweety got home to see it.

speak up!

I think Oliver may have a giant streak of asshole. He spent a couple of weeks wooing us with his mad fetching skills and his pottying outside – but now? I think we’re fixing to have a doggy showdown. Tiny Dog has enjoyed her position on the throne as Alpha Dog for 5 years now and he is getting ready to knock her ass rolling off of it.

He’s started running in to steal Stinky Dog’s food. The barking. For the love of Pete, the barking. If I don’t do what he’s wanting RIGHT NOW then the barking starts. And after about 15 seconds Stinky Dog joins. Then you hear Tiny Dog screaming. It’s like they’re all in my head.

I’m trying to be sneakier about feeding them. If they know I’m feeding them then it’s 10 minutes from start to finish with the barking. If I sneak out of bed in the morning I can get a headstart on them. Then when I come home at night I tiptoe around to fill their bowls before they realize that I’m home.

Helps keep my eardrums intact.

But if we’re keeping score – Tiny is Alpha. For now.

speak up!

Nekkid…

Happy Thursday! Be it half nekkid or not!

speak up!

Hanging out with Sweety at the bowling alley on Friday night was pretty nice. Well, I was having a good time until this one lady showed up. Have you ever been around someone whose voice literally makes you cringe? This woman is the only person I’ve ever met that’s affected me this way. So I told Sweety we had to go right home after he was done bowling. (Usually he stays to socialize.) I just couldn’t handle her cackling. (And dammit, if you’re reading this and you bowl with Sweety – keep your yap shut. I don’t want to have to move my bloggy home or anything.) If I had to be trapped in a room with her or the coaew – I’d choose the coaew.

Later I was thinking about it and felt bad that I’d let one human being rain on my parade. If she was a regular fixture somewhere I was then I guess I’d have to get used to her. It was just easier to leave on Friday.

Sweety and I have been out of sorts with each other for a few days now. Sweety is really awesome 99% of the time. But that other 1%? Really fucking mean. I’d seen a lot of the RFM here lately and wasn’t taking it well. I can handle the RFM if it happens sporadically. But if it happens and I can remember the last time it happened? Then it’s happening too much. I know a lot of it is work related with him so I’ve been quiet and tried to ride it out. I decided that I was tired of riding it out and threw a grenade at him last night and we’ve both been doing a lot of thinking.

One of the things he said was it annoyed him that I’d come right in from work and get on the computer until bedtime. I pointed out that I didn’t come right in and get on the computer. First I cleaned all the trash, recycling and dirty dishes up from the kitchen. By the time I’m done with that and walk into the living room to see my three sloths on the couches? I’m not about to start cleaning at 8 o’clock at night while they watch me. I want to sit in the corner on my computer and melt into the couch.

Today we rationally talked through things and we will start getting along better.

Where did we have our talk? At the dentist’s office I mentioned in the post below right after I told him about my cell phone blowing up. That gave us the giggles and we were able to move on into a conversation without anybody getting all bent out of shape. And it helped that we were in public too. Don’t want to cause a scene.

speak up!

I had to get LB out of school early today and it was a clusterfuck. What should have been a swoop and grab turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the school had their information all goofed up. At the beginning of every year we fill out a sheet with Sweety’s name, coaew’s name and my name and info on it as people that can pick up the boys. They had her name only but all of my info. I finally told the lady if she’d call the number listed as a contact in case he was sick that my phone would ring and recited the number to her. She didn’t call me but she did let me get him. I was getting him because he had an appointment with the dentist.

We get situated in the tiny waiting room at the dentist’s – really, tiny. Six waiting chairs and the receptionist. All of a sudden, my phone starts to ring. Have you heard the ringtone at the end of this commercial? Customized ringtones annoy the shit out of me for some reason. (If you have one, then I’d probably like it. Because you’re cool. But when I’m in the grocery store and someone’s phone goes off and it’s a song or a weird sound it makes my eye twitch. I’ve only bought one ringtone ever and it was part of a song that Sweety & I like. And I don’t have it anymore.) But I heard that horribly obnoxious thing and thought that I had to have it to use as my alarm clock ring. I set it as my actual phone ring the other day and forgot about it.

And I forgot to turn off my phone before going into the dentist’s office. You should have seen the look on the little old lady’s face who was sitting three feet away from me when it started blaring out of my purse. Of course I was flustered so it took forever to fish it out of my purse to shut it up. I’ve changed it back to the regular ring.

speak up!