P.S. You know your photographer loves you when she’ll say, “Don’t hate me for saying this – suck it in for a second.”

speak up!

What I spoke of in the last post, about having to move the day I go on vacation to suit the coaew? Still hasn’t been decided. When I tell Sweety that I’m going on the day that I originally planned on he gets all grouchy and tells me I need to let go of the hate. Whatever. Someone has to hold the hate. May as well be me.

Last Wednesday we went to Reno and then on to Las Vegas on Friday. Sweety is in a bowling tournament in Reno but we flew into Vegas because the flights were cheaper and we had to rent a car anyway. And we got our rooms in Vegas super cheap ($1 for one night and $15 for the other! We stayed at the Sahara. Some of the reviews were bad but I thought it was just fine for a buck. There were no bugs, mold or crunchy stuff in my bed.).

Thursday morning we got up and played some dollar Blackjack. I played for almost an hour and lost $8. And 4 of that tipped the dealer and waitress. An okay way to spend an hour. :)

Then we went to the little bar there that had $1 shots and hot dogs. Suwheet bebby hayzeus. I got tore up from the floor up. The shots were in these tiny little glasses and I laughed when I saw them. But then it tasted like paint thinner and bleached my teeth while getting me drunk.

I also had an epiphany while drinking – you know how Tiny Dog likes to drink beer but we don’t let her have it since it might kill her and all? O’Doul’s. I’m gonna give that bitch some unalcoholic beer the next time we’re drinking and see if she drinks it. If she does NOT drink it then that means she really is drinking for the alcohol and is smarter than I give her credit for. And if she does drink it then I’ve found a new way to keep The Queen happy.

After filling up on dollar shots and hotdogs we moseyed over to the Nascar Cafe. Where they have a 6 pound burrito. A friend and I thought it would be a good idea to give it a go. I truly believed I could eat a 6 pound burrito. I was sadly mistaken as was he. They make you eat at a special table at the front of the restaurant. People were stopping to take photos and talk to us. I don’t even like people to look at me while eating so it was hard to stuff my face while people took photos.

After the 90 minutes was up and we hadn’t finished, they gave us pink t-shirts that said “Weenie” on the front and took our photo for the wall of shame. Then I power puked and passed out. A passerby saw my plate of burrito butts (I cut off then ends to eat them last & had put them on a separate plate) and asked if she could have them. I’m glad that someone was able to truly enjoy the burrito.

I guess if you’re gonna eat something the size of a baby, it shouldn’t be a spur of the moment decision. You need to train for that shit.

speak up!

I had a fantastic time visiting family in Arizona! I saw my Mom’s sister (who I hadn’t seen since I was 2), her daughter and grandson (all of them are visiting from Korea) and met my Mom’s nephew’s family. His wife was an absolute sweetheart and their son was adorable.

We did a little bit of sightseeing and went to the zoo but for the most part, we stuck around the house and ate Korean food while talking. It was awesome. It was so awesome that I cried the whole way home because I hated to leave and return to regular life.

My plane landed in Orlando about 20 minutes early and I took that time to cry in the bathroom in the hopes that I could turn off the waterworks before Sweety picked me up. Sweety later told me that when he saw my crying ass sitting outside the airport that his first thought was that I looked homeless and miserable and maybe he should just leave me there. Yeah, that would have been great!

Before I left, Sweety asked me to put together a schedule for when the boys would be here and at the coaew’s this summer so he could give it to her and once she saw it they would both be looking at the same thing if she wanted to change anything about it. It’s nothing set in stone – just an idea. Well, her panties got in a wad after she saw it. It was done on the computer so I guess she assumed it was me that typed it all up and that pissed her off. She called Sweety ranting and raving about how the boys are her and his kids and I shouldn’t have any input in their lives. (hmm, I wonder if it’s ever occurred to her that I’ve lived with them quite a bit more than she has the past 9 years? and would it have been better if Sweety would have written all of it out by hand?)

So, they’re not MY kids but the motherfucking cunt wants me to change MY fucking vacation to suit her. How about a big glass of “go fuck yourself with a smoldering garden spade”? We’ve taken our family vacation the same time of year for the past 4 or 5 years to suit her. We used to go on vacation in June but that interfered with one of her crotchlings birthdays and the party she likes to have so we moved our vacation into July, the same time in July, a few years ago.

She’s all pissed off that our vacation time is overlapping with the time her husband has taken off for vacation and she wants to take the boys camping. I’m planning on leaving to head to Oklahoma on Tuesday night after I get off work but she wants me to wait til Wednesday.

I’m thinking of being a bitch and not waiting. Dammit, I’ve planned on leaving on Tuesday evening. *I* don’t have any kids so what makes her think she can tell me when to go on vacation to accommodate *her* kids?

Yeah, fuck it. I’m leaving on Tuesday night like I’ve planned and everyone can suck it and deal.

I really hope a bear eats her ass when they go camping. I hope it fucking rains every day they’re camping and mosquitoes descend like a plague of locusts. A crazy ax murderer that likes women that look like Walter Matthau would be nice too.

I’m afraid that I’m going to get to the end of this journey of raising the boys and just be like “wow, that’s it.” I need a family of my own. I need kids that will call me “mom” and give me hugs. Kids that I can raise how I want to. Kids that I don’t have to walk around on eggshells with because they aren’t *my* kids and OMG what if I do something to upset them and it gets back to the coaew?

speak up!

I’m going away for the weekend to meet some of my Mom’s family that are visiting from Korea. I’m incredibly excited because I have never met any of these people before. My sister, niece and Mom are driving to Arizona and I’m flying to meet everyone Sunday. I’ve been trying to learn to speak a little Korean by listening to podcasts but haven’t picked up much. I know “hello” and “thank you”. It’ll be neat to spend time with everyone even if I don’t know what the hell they’re saying.

On your way out could I ask a tiny favor of you? Stop by this site and click the button to vote for G@yla H@rt. You don’t have to register or anything – just click the button! I know her and would like her to win that thing!

Have a fantastic Half Nekkid Thursday!

speak up!

You know what I think is neat? The coaew talks about not having money and it’s hard for her to do things with the boys because of that but guess what I spied on her hobbit foot today?

A new tattoo. (By new, it wasn’t there the last time I looked at her a few months ago.)

A Jesus fish. Because nothing says “I’m a Christian!” like drawing a fish on your foot. I think if she was really dedicated, she’d slam some nails through her hands and feet. I volunteer to do the nailing.

Sweety says that I said, “Oh my god. She’s got a Jesus fish on her foot.” loudly enough that she heard. WTFE. It’s not that I have a problem with tattoos (Hi! I’m marked up!) or Jesus fish. Whatever she would have stamped onto her foot would have drawn the same reaction from me.

Don’t say you don’t have gas money to get your kids and then do frivolous shit.

She called Sweety this morning to try and project some guilt onto him.

This weekend (the boys are at her house on the weekends) BB overheard his stepdad saying that his exwife wanted them to come to her house for a party. After hearing this, BB pulled coaew aside and told her that he’d rather not go. That functions are awkward because he doesn’t know where to sit or what to do.

So coaew tells Sweety that she thinks BB is talking about his and LB’s baseball games and school functions. Because we don’t all sit together at the baseball field or at school things (Not usually anyway. Today I saved that twat and her spawn seats at LB’s class awards ceremony. This was before I knew about this conversation or I probably wouldn’t have bothered.) and that it makes BB uncomfortable.

Um, no. I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that he was referring to the situation at your house that had just been mentioned! School functions? The boys sit with whatever parent they came with. Baseball games? The boys don’t sit with any adults. They wander around (under my eagle eye) and network with their friends. Yeah, coaew, I’m pretty sure that he was talking about the party that he’d just told you he didn’t want to go to.

If she was in the hospital – I’d step on her ventilator hose.

speak up!

My very first Half Nekkid Thursday photo. (you can click it to go to that post)

And now…

Righty is my standard work shoe but I’ve pulled out lefty a couple of times lately.

speak up!